S01E02 - Biscuits
No: 2 | Season: 1 Episode: 2 | Air Date: 14-Aug-20 | Runtime: 29 mins
It's Ted's first day of coaching, and fans aren't happy. He makes little headway but remains undeterred as the team plays its first match.
Director and Writers
Director: Zach Braff
Writers: Story by: Brendan Hunt & Jason Sudeikis Teleplay by: Joe Kelly
Ted: Hey, look at Isaac. He looks like a Rodin sculpture in cleats.
Coach Beard: Boots. They call cleats "boots."
Ted: I thought you said that the trunk of a car was a boot.
Coach Beard: Also a boot.
Ted: Hold on now. If I were to get fired from my job where I'm puttin' cleats in the trunk of my car...
Coach Beard: You got the boot from puttin' boots in the boot.
Ted: (going through the suggestion box) Let's see what we got here. "Wanker." Let's see what else we got. "Piss off, wanker." "I hope you choke on a Big Mac."
Coach Beard: Good thing these are anonymous.
Ted: No, Roy signed that one.
Ted: Okay, I got one. What if I joined forces with a swashbuckling cat to play tiny guitars for women of the night as we read Alex Haley's most seminal work?
Coach Beard: You'd be in cahoots with Puss in Boots, playing lutes for prostitutes, reading Roots.
Ted: No, The Autobiography of Malcolm X. I gotcha.
Ted: Let's tie up some loose ends from yesterday. First concert, Kenny Rogers, right? Best concert, we got Beastie Boys at HORDE Fest, 1995. You're gonna love this story. Actually, did y'all get the O.J. trial over here?
Trent Crimm: Could you explain the offside rule?
Ted: Well, Trent, I'm gonna put it the same way the US Supreme Court did back in 1964 when they defined pornography. It ain't easy to explain, but you know it when you see it.
"Juice" by Lizzo (Keeley's photo shoot.)
"Glad All Over " by the Dave Clark Five (End credits.)
Notes and Trivia
Jeremy Swift was nominated for (did not win) a Primetime Emmy Award for "Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series" for the episode "Biscuits."
For directing the episode "Biscuits," Zach Braff was nominated (did not win) for a 2021 Emmy for "Outstanding Directing For A Comedy Series."
The announcer Arlo White (plays himself) is the lead play-by-play voice of NBC Sports' US Premier League coverage.
Details about common filming locations such as The Crown and Anchor Pub, The Dog Pound Stadium and The Richmond Greyhounds practise field can be found here.
The photo shoot where Ted met up with Keeley was shot on Richmond Hill B321 near the "Richmond Hill Viewing Point." (Google Street View)
Richmond's fictional Nelson Road stadium, aka the "dog pound," is actually Selhurst Park, home of the Premier League's Crystal Palace. Ironically, Crystal palace was Richmond's opponent in this episode's match.
The location where Higgins walks his dog and speaks on the phone to Rebecca about the paparazzi photos was filmed in the trees along Pembroke Villas Road, in Richmond, England. (Google Street View)