S01E04 - For the Children

No: 4  |  Season: 1   Episode: 4  |  Air Date: 21-Aug-20  |  Runtime: mins


Rebecca hosts the team's annual charity benefit, where Ted stages a reconciliation between Roy and Jamie.

Director and Writers

Director: Tom Marshall
Writers: Jamie Lee


Sam: Jamie. Jamie. Sorry, I didn't put that cross where you wanted it.
Jamie: Ah. Forget it, mate. Hey, would it be too forward if I gave you some advice that might help improve your game a bit?
Sam: No. Please, anything.
Jamie: What you need to do is get yourself a time machine, and go back to the moment when your mom was about to fu$k a sad little man with no athletic talent. Pull her off him, fly her to Argentina, and drop her onto Maradona's c0ck. Hope that helps, mate.

Ted: Easy, easy, easy now! Coach, tell these boys what the first rule of my fight club is.
Coach Beard: No fight club!

Rebecca: Ugh. I haven't placed Elaine Kenner. Awful woman.
Higgins: She won't be attending tonight. She was kicked in the face by her horse.
Rebecca: Oh. That poor thing. Is the horse okay?

Ted: Looks like we still got ourselves a team divided here. Coach, you know what I'm thinkin' about right now?
Coach Beard: West Side Story?
Ted: You know it. Sharks and Jets. You think these fellas could solve their problems with a dance-off at a gymnasium?

Ted: Nate the Great! He's gonna be my date! And for obvious reasons, we'd love to be at table eight!

Ted: Fashion's all about confidence. If I didn't have any confidence, I never would've worn pajamas to my prom and ended up in jail the rest of that night.

Keeley: Nate, that's a very nice suit. I think you look chic.
Nathan: Oh, thank you. It's actually only the second suit I've ever owned. The first one was my suit when I was a naked baby.
Keeley: (blank stare)
Nathan: Sorry, it's funny when Ted says it. I...
Ted: Well, the term "birthday suit" woulda helped you a ton there, yeah.

Rebecca: Rupert was always very good at the public speaking part.
Ted: Hey, here's a little trick of the trade. Just make fun of yourself right off the bat, a little joke. Folks will love that.
Rebecca: Okay, so, what should I make fun of myself about?
Ted: (inhales) Right, right, right. (stammers) Um...

Woman: (to Jamie) I will be bidding for a night with you.
Jamie: Oh. Thanks, love. Uh... Yeah, it's, um, it's just a date though. It's not a whole night. So...
Woman: We'll see. (leaves)
Roy: Mate, I've done these before. If she bids over 3,000, you will have to fu$k her.
Jamie: Is that true?
Keeley: You don't have to go all the way. Just, like, some of the way. Fingering. (laughs)

Roy: Just the usual. Jamie being a little bitch prima donna.
Ted: Roy, let me ask you something. What were you like when you were 23? Playing in this league, making all that money.
Roy: Little bitch prima donna.
Ted: Yeah. You know how they say that "youth is wasted on the young"? Well, I say don't let the wisdom of age be wasted on you.

Nathan: I just wanted to say thanks for talking to Colin and Isaac.
Roy: Why is your face so close to mine?
Nathan: Well, my initial plan was to hug you, but I just chickened out just now.
Roy: Right.
(Nathan hugs Roy)
Roy: Okay, we're done.

Ted: Love of a sports team is a lifetime obsession. Kinda like your best friend's older sister, right?

Higgins: Hey, Ted. Uh, do you think Rebecca knows what the real Adele looks like?

Keeley: In anything else, I hate olives. I think the little, like, orange clitoris thing is really freaky.

Rupert: And now, the only former Champions League winner on the menu, say hello to Roy Kent. And the highest bidder gets to spend a day at a swanky hotel by the pool drinking frozen daiquiris and soaking up the rays...
Roy: (abruptly) No, we said there's no daiquiris and no rays.

Keeley: Do you wanna go get, like, really drunk?
Rebecca: Yes, I do.
Keeley: Then we can go rob a bank or something.


"Swing Time" by Tom McGowan (At the benefit.)

"Mama" by Cam Cole (Ted's busker performs at benefit.)

"Kids" by Robbie Williams, Kylie Minogue (End song.)

Notes and Trivia

Juno Temple was nominated for (did not win) a Primetime Emmy Award for "Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series" for the episode "For The Children."

For the episode "For the Children," Paul Cripps and Iain White were nominated for (did not win) the 2021 Primetime Creative Arts Emmy Award for "Outstanding Production Design For A Narrative Program (Half-Hour)."

Note that Robbie Williams cancelled as the guest musician, but he made an appearance in the closing song of the episode with Kids by Robbie Williams and Kylie Minogue.

Did you notice how Rebecca told Higgins that table four was to be known as the boring table, and later when her ex-husband Rupert announced he would be attending the dinner, she assigned him to table four?




Details about common filming locations such as The Crown and Anchor Pub, The Dog Pound Stadium and The Richmond Greyhounds practise field can be found here.

Exterior shots of "The Richmond Theatre" were filmed at the actual Richmond Theatre, 1 Little Green, in Richmond, England. (Google Street View)

Interior scenes of "The Richmond Theatre" were actually filmed at the Rivoli Ballroom, 350 Brockley Rd, in London. (Google Street View)

The scene where Ted and Rebecca are outside the event with the rickshaw is located at 2 Whittaker Ave in Richmond. (Google Street View)


StarringJason SudeikisTed Lasso
StarringHannah WaddinghamRebecca Welton
StarringJeremy SwiftHiggins
StarringPhil DunsterJamie Tartt
StarringBrett GoldsteinRoy Kent
StarringBrendan HuntCoach Beard
StarringNick MohammedNathan Shelley
Starring (With)Juno TempleKeeley Jones
Guest StarringAnthony HeadRupert Mannion
Guest StarringToheeb JimohSam Obisanya
Co-StarringArlo WhiteHimself
Co-StarringBilly HarrisColin
Co-StarringKola BokinniIsaac
Co-StarringStephen ManasRichard
Co-StarringPhoebe WalshJane
Co-StarringKeeley HazellBex
Co-StarringCameron ColeHimself
Co-StarringSusan TracyCheryl Barnaby
Co-StarringAndrew BradleyAnsel
Co-StarringAnwar LynchHenri