S01E10 - The Hope that Kills You

No: 10  |  Season: 1   Episode: 10  |  Air Date: 2-Oct-20  |  Runtime: 33 mins


Richmond plays a climactic match that will determine the fates of Ted and his club.

Director and Writers

Director: MJ Delaney
Writers: Story by: Joe Kelly & Jason Sudeikis Teleplay by: Brendan Hunt


Ted: Nathan Shelley, I present to you this whistle. But it is sad. Do you know why?
Nathan: No.
Ted: Because it has never been blown.
Nathan: Is that the same reason why Colin's sad?

Coach Beard: It got confusing, 'cause they don't call it jock itch here.
Ted: So you didn't know what spray to buy?
Coach Beard: Yeah.
Ted: Yeah. What'd you go with?
Coach Beard: Mr. Muscle?

Roy: Not sure if you know this, but the rules say you gotta pick a new captain.
Ted: No, sir. You're my captain. That's the rule.
Roy: No. The captain has to be on the pitch. That's the rule.
Ted: I say that the current captain has to pick the new captain. That's my new rule.
Roy: Don't want to.
Ted: Well, you have to.
Roy: I decline.
Ted: I insist.
Roy: Can't make me.
Ted: Roy Kent, until you choose your successor, your duties as captain of this squad remain unfulfilled.
Roy: This is why it's hard to love you.(Roy leaves)
Ted: You heard it, right?
Coach Beard: He loves you.

Colin: We got relegated when I was at Cardiff. It's my family's team. My nana never spoke to me after that. She just left me a box of her shit in her will.

Sam: Coach, do they not have relegation in America?
Ted: Oh, no, no, no.
Isaac: So what happens to all the shit teams at the end of the season?
Ted: They play out the rest of the schedule, going through the motions in meaningless games contested in lifeless, half-empty stadiums, and everyone's pretty much fine with that. That sound about right, Coach?
Coach Beard: Yeah, it's dumb.

Jamie Tartt: Well, I'd never say a bad word about me old club... even though I did carry them through every match. But they're good lads. Apart from Roy Kent. He is a knob. You know, and it's nice to have a real manager like Pep, instead of that American rodeo clown. You know, Lasso sent me away, now they're facing the drop. Sunday, I get to put the final nail in the ashes. Instant karma, it's gonna get ya.

Ted: Okay, so if the Premier League is the best, then what's the league called right below it?
Coach Beard: The Championship.
Ted: Now, hold on one second. So if you come in last place in the Premier League, you get to play in the Championship?
Coach Beard: They also invented irony.

Ted: You're acting like we lost the game already, yeah? Why don't you have a little hope?
Mae: Aw, Ted. Haven't you lived here long enough to realize? It's the hope that kills you.

Nathan: There is a scenario where Crystal Palace beat Norwich by six goals, and we avoid relegation with just a tie.
Ted: No, no, no. Nope. Sorry. No. I hate ties, Nate. How many times I gotta tell you that? They ain't natural, all right? If God wanted games to end in a tie, she wouldn't have invented numbers, all right?

Coach Beard: Quick question. Are those the only clothes you own?
Nathan: This? No, I got three of these.

Ted: Well, hello, Nelson. Let me introduce you to another Nelson right here. I think you two will hit it off just fine, 'cause you're both so damn pessimistic!
Coach Beard: I believe the gentleman is suggesting that we are a pair of Negative Nellies.

Rebecca: There's a great saying in Dutch football.
Ted: Oh, I don't speak Dutch.
Rebecca: That's why I was going to tell you in English.
Ted: Perfect. Lay it on me.
Rebecca: "Every disadvantage has its advantage."
Ted: Ooh, I like that.
Rebecca: Sure, you don't know what you're doing, but doesn't that mean that you see the game in a different way than any other football manager? And shouldn't that empower you to cause complete and utter confusion?
Ted: Cause confusion or create chaos. Yep. Yes, it is. Thanks, boss.
(Quickly runs out of the office and hits his head on the top of the door)
Ted: I'm fine. The chaos has already begun.

Ted: Today's lesson is "trick plays." At least, that's what we call 'em back home. What do they call 'em here again?
Coach Beard: Elaborate set pieces.
Ted: Yeah, we gonna stick with "trick plays." That's a lot more fun. Now, the idea behind every trick play is to have chaos rain down upon your opponents and stun them. Much like the lava did to those poor folks in Pompeii. So, I want y'all to think about every single trick play you have ever run your entire time playing this sport. Anybody got one? Yeah, Dani, what you got?
Dani: When I played for Tigres, we had a great set piece.
Ted: Did it have a name?
Dani: "The Sandman."
Ted: Yeah. Now we're cooking. "The Sandman." We're gonna learn that play today. Who else got one?
Sam: "Pepper Shakers."
Ted: "Pepper Shakers"? Yeah, plural. Gotta be two.
Colin: "Beckham's Todger."
Ted: Beckham, I know. Todger, I don't know.
Coach Beard: It's dirty.
Zoreaux: "Midnight Poutine."
Ted: Poutine?
Coach Beard: That's not dirty. It's just super Canadian.
Player: Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.
Ted: Oh, with Dick Van Dyke. The owner of one of the most authentic English accents in the history of cinema. What do you got?
Player: "The Broken Tap."
Ted: All right. That's not a complaint, that's an actual play name?
Player: Think Man City will leak a lot of goals from it.
All Players: Whooaa!
Ted: Oh. Nice. Yeah?
Another Player: "Loki's Toboggan."
Another Player: "The Upside-Down Taxi."
Another Player: "Hadrian's Wall."
Another Player: "Dirty Martini."
Ted: Oh, I'd love to run that play three times right now. I love it. Do me a favor and toss "Lasso Special" up there just for the heck of it too.

Jamie: Look, Keeley. When you're done feeding mushy peas to this old fart, then you give me a call. Look forward to seeing you tomorrow. Enjoy the view from the bench.
Keeley: What?
Roy: Well, now I want mushy peas.

Announcer: The Richmond faithful gather on a crucial night. Win and they stay up. Lose and they go down. They come here full of hope, but as they know all too well, it's the hope that kills you.

Keeley: I have a confession to make. I've never really cared about football. I know. I know it sounds insane, but I know how to act at a match. (yelling) "Referee! Offside, you turnip!"

Ted: So I've been hearing this phrase y'all got over here that I ain't too crazy about. "It's the hope that kills you." Y'all know that? I disagree, you know? I think it's the lack of hope that comes and gets you. See, I believe in hope. I believe in belief. Now, where I'm from, we got a saying too, yeah? A question, actually. "Do you believe in miracles?" Now, I don't need y'all to answer that question for me... but I do want you to answer that question for yourselves. Right now. Do you believe in miracles? And if you do... then I want y'all to circle up with me right now. Come on. Let's go.
(Players cheer and get in a circle)

Nathan: Is that miracle thing from a movie or real life?
Coach Beard: Both.

Announcer: Obisanya with an inch-perfect through ball. Winchester was clearly offside.
Ted: Come on, now! Explain to me how that's offside.... No, I'm serious. How is that offside? I don't understand that yet.

Announcer: Here comes Lasso's assistant coach to review their tactics. What chess moves do they have in store?
Coach Beard: When the vinegar was next to the Heineken, they weren't offside. It's not when the vinegar catches the ball, it's when ketchup passes the ball.
Ted: Yes, I understand now.

Ted: I don't want to hear about any other game going on any other place. Okay? Look, we are not playing for a tie. Ain't nobody here gonna kiss their sister.
Zoreaux: What?
Ted: Which is an American phrase that I'm now realizing does not exist here, and that's good, 'cause it's creepy, and I hate it myself, I don't know why I said it. I think it's just the adrenaline, the nerves and all that. But we are playing for a win. Win and in. You hear?

Richmond Fans: Roy Kent! He's here, he's there, he's every-fu#king-where. Roy Kent! Roy Kent!

Ted: What the heck is going on...
Nathan: That's the sound of 26,000 people checking mobiles. Oh, my God. Palace won 6-0.
Ted: But then that means... All we need is a tie. We just need a tie, boys!

Ted: Hey. Y'all played a heck of a game out there. We may not have won, but y'all definitely succeeded. I mean, you gave the champs 90 minutes of hell. Zoreaux, where you at? That dude had more saves than a Baptist preacher. Give it up for Zoreaux. Yeah. (applause) That's right. What about Roy? Roy chased down his grandson. Stopped him from getting an easy one.

Ted: I want you to be grateful that you're going through this sad moment with all these other folks. Because I promise you, there is something worse out there than being sad, and that is being alone and being sad. Ain't nobody in this room alone.

Ted: Sam, do you remember what animal has the shortest memory?
Sam: A goldfish.
Ted: That's right. It's a goldfish. Sam, what do you think we should all do once we get done being sad and/or angry about this situation?
Sam: I think we should all be a goldfish.
Ted: I agree. Let's be sad now. Let's be sad together. And then we can be a gosh-darn goldfish. Onward. Forward.

Rebecca: Thank you, Leslie.
Ted: Leslie? Is that your first name?
Higgins: It was my mother's name. I'm what's known as a feminine junior.

Ted: The teams that get relegated, they can get un-relegated, yeah?
Rebecca: They can get promoted.
Ted: So then, next year we get ourselves a promotion, which looks good on any resume. Then we come back to this league and... we do something that no one believes we could ever do. Win the whole fu&king thing.


"American Football" by Marcus Mumford, Tom Howe (The Lasso Special)

"You'll Never Walk Alone" by Marcus Mumford (End of the game.)

"Non je ne regrette rien" by Edit Piaf (End credits.)

Notes and Trivia

For directing the episode "The Hope That Kills You," MJ Delaney was nominated for (did not win) a 2021 Emmy for "Outstanding Directing For A Comedy Series."

For editing the episode "The Hope That Kills You," A.J. Catoline won a 2021 Emmy for "Outstanding Single-Camera Picture Editing For A Comedy Series."

For sound editing of the episode "The Hope That Kills You," Brent Findley, Bernard Weiser, Kip Smedley, Richard David Brown, Sharyn Gersh, Sanaa Kelley, and Matt Salib were nominated (did not win) for a 2021 Emmy for "Outstanding Sound Editing For A Comedy Or Drama Series (Half-Hour) And Animation."

For mixing the episode "The Hope That Kills You," Ryan Kennedy, Sean Byrne, and David Lascelles won a 2021 Emmy for "Outstanding Sound Mixing For A Comedy Or Drama Series (Half-Hour) And Animation."

When Coach Beard is shown using a description of table condiments to explain the offside rule to Ted Lasso, this is a throwback to the 2002 film Bend It Like Beckham where Jules Paxton's (Keira Knightley) father explains the offside rule to his wife using table condiments.

Ted's last line about how next year, they're going to "win the whole f*cking thing," is exactly what Jake Taylor (Tom Berenger) tells his baseball team in his inspirational locker room speech that turns things around for Cleveland in the film Major League, furthering the notion that this series is very close to the plot of Major League.

Ted leaping for joy as he exits Rebecca's office and hitting his forehead on the lintel was an unplanned accident- fortunately both Hannah and Jason played through and the error made it to the final cut. Hannah's reaction was genuine surprise. Jason was uninjured.

The announcer Arlo White (plays himself) is the lead play-by-play voice of NBC Sports' US Premier League coverage.


Jamie Tartt was at Richmond on loan. Players, especially young ones, are loaned out when they either need experience or are surplus and not needed at the club. After he goes back to Man City, he is seen wearing the number 9 shirt. This shirt is usually kept for the teams main striker. It would be impossible for Jamie to be handed this shirt. Furthermore, he is shown to be not only starting the game in more than one instance but also taking free kicks. Again, a loanee would not be doing that.

In the first few seconds of the cold open, there is a close-up shot at a shoe rack full of (presumably) professional football boots. The soccer cleats shown are clearly entry level / high sales volume boots (what Nike refers to as their 'Academy' line, and Adidas and Puma their '.3' boots.) and professional players in a Premiere League club would all wear shoes worth at least twice their price ('Elite' from Nike, '.1' from Adidas and Puma)

Manchester City is wearing their light blue home kit while playing away in Richmond. (The equivalent 2019 Manchester City away jersey should have been black with yellow lettering and pink/light blue accents.) Not only would that be highly unusual, the fact that A.F.C. Richmond already has blue in their home kit would make such an exception virtually impossible to authorize from the official.

Richmond's final game takes places at night. However, the Premier League's final day always takes place mid-afternoon with all teams playing at the same time.


Details about common filming locations such as The Crown and Anchor Pub, The Dog Pound Stadium and The Richmond Greyhounds practise field can be found here.



StarringJason SudeikisTed Lasso
StarringHannah WaddinghamRebecca Welton
StarringJeremy SwiftHiggins
StarringPhil DunsterJamie Tartt
StarringBrett GoldsteinRoy Kent
StarringBrendan HuntCoach Beard
StarringNick MohammedNathan Shelley
Starring (With)Juno TempleKeeley Jones
Guest StarringAnthony HeadRupert Mannion
Guest StarringToheeb JimohSam Obisanya
Guest StarringAnnette BadlandMae
Guest StarringJames LanceTrent Crimm
Co-StarringBilly HarrisColin
Co-StarringKola BokinniIsaac
Co-StarringCristo FernandezDani Rojas
Co-StarringMoe Jeudy-LamourThierry Zoreaux
Co-StarringStephen ManasRichard
Co-StarringAdam ColborneBaz
Co-StarringBronson WebbJeremy
Co-StarringKevin 'KG' GarryPaul
Co-StarringKeeley HazellBex
Co-StarringBill SkinnerTommy
Co-StarringArlo WhiteHimself
Co-StarringChris PowellHimself
Co-StarringGus TurnerHenry
Co-StarringCharlie HiscockWill
Co-StarringMary RoscoeJulie
Co-StarringKieran O'BrienJames Tartt
Co-StarringKeith HowKip
Co-StarringTom ParryRay
Co-StarringJay McDonaldAlex
Co-StarringVinta MorganSammy
Co-StarringSonnyboy SkeltonRobbie
Co-StarringLuke Hamann-ChanesMichael
Co-StarringLiam Hamann-ChanesA.J.
Co-StarringTristan Hamann-ChanesRusty