S02E01 - Goodbye Earl

No: 11  |  Season: 2   Episode: 1  |  Air Date: 23-Jul-21  |  Runtime: mins

Summary

AFC Richmond brings in a sports psychologist to help the team overcome their unprecedented seven game tie-streak, and Ted is surprised by the immediate results. Roy discovers a new life as a retired footballer. Rebecca begins dating, and discovers she doesn't want to settle for just anyone.

Director and Writers

Director: Declan Lowney
Writers: Brendan Hunt

Quotes

Arlo: Richmond has started the season with seven straight ties... and if this match ends in a draw, they will tie the record, which is currently a tie between Southampton and Swansea.

Arlo: Chris, can you even imagine starting a season with seven consecutive draws?
Chris: I sure can, Arlo. And that's because I'm a right-brained dominant with a knack for make-believe.

Nathan: Is it okay if I pray?
Ted: Yeah, of course. But to which god and in what language, you know?
Coach Beard: You could cross your fingers, make a wish.
Ted: There you go.

Arlo: A hush falls over Nelson Road... With the exception of Richmond's venerable mascot, Earl Greyhound, howling his encouragement. Will Dani Rojas deliver the good boy their first win of the season?
Dani: Please, please, please, please. Come on, Dani. Football is life.
(Dani kicks the ball and kills the team mascot)
Nathan: Oh, no. Oh, my God. I promise that's not what I wished for.

Rebecca: That poor creature. It's so tragic.
Higgins: Awful turn of events.
Rebecca: You don't think that people will hate us because of it, do you?
Higgins: Well, it was obviously a horrible accident, but I guess that one perk of being in a lower division now is that not every game is televised.
Rebecca: Yes, but, Higgins, the Internet.

Keeley: Twitter is going bonkers. Look.
Rebecca: Oh, God. Did we really make Michael Jordan cry?

Rebecca: Did you write a statement for Ted?
Keeley: Yeah, I did. But then he said, "Now, don't you fret, Boba Fett." He's got it covered.

Marcus: How many more matches you think can end in a draw before you hit the panic button?
Ted: Well, Marcus, there's two buttons I never like to hit, all right? And that's "panic" and "snooze."

Ted: When I was three years old, I got attacked by our neighbor's dog. I-I don't remember it happening, but my mother said it was pretty-- pretty scary, you know. I do remember being afraid of dogs while growing up though. Like if I was at a friend's house for a sleepover or something, they'd have to keep their family dog outside, otherwise I'd bawl my eyes out. Then in high school, our neighbor, Mr. Grady, well, his wife passed away. And he was real sad about that, as you can imagine, and he just kinda stopped taking care of their dog. Same one that bit me. His name was Hank. And so I started looking after him, you know. Feeding him, taking him on walks, playing fetch, all that fun stuff. Eventually, Mr. Grady's son moved his dad into a nursing home, and he asked if I wanted to keep Hank, and I was like, "Yeah. Heck, yeah." And then a year or so after that we had to put Hank to sleep. It's funny to think about the things in your life... that can make you cry just knowing that they existed, can then become the same thing that make you cry knowing that they're now gone. I think those things come into our lives... to help us get from one place to a better one. And I hope we helped Earl do just that. We gonna miss him around here a whole bunch.

Ted: Hey, Dani. What ya doing?
Dani: (In the shower) Washing the death off of me.
Ted: Well, I-- I recommend you use a little soap. Helps get the eternal rest out of those tough-to-reach places, you know.

Ted: Let's go ahead and give Dani a little bit of space right now, yeah? Y'all don't mind showering at home, do ya?
Sam: Coach, if it's okay with you, some of us prefer to take long baths at home.

Jan: Goldfish?
Colin: Oh, it means to forget our mistakes and failures and just move on.
Jan: But I didn't make any mistakes. Only you played poorly.
Sam: Hey, guys, Jan Maas is not being rude. He's just being Dutch.

Ted: I'm telling you, all these ties are my fault. It's straight up celestial payback for the Man City game. There I was wishing and hoping for a freaking tie, and now the karma police are making good on showing me what I get when I mess with them.

Ted: Back home, if a team was playing poorly, we don't call 'em unlucky. What do we call 'em, Coach?
Coach Beard: New York Jets.

Nathan: You gotta stay on 'em. Pressure makes pearls, right? Wait, that's wrong. It's diamonds-- Shit! I messed it up.

Higgins: We just received a giant food delivery from our rivals over at Brentford F.C.
Keeley: That's nice. What kind of food?
Higgins: Thai... Oh, now I get it.

Rebecca: What do you say to a cocktail, Coach Lasso?
Ted: Oh, the same thing I'd say to Diane Sawyer if she ever asked me out on a date: "Yes, please."

Keeley: How you feeling?
Ted: Well, Keeley, I feel like a bigger loser than the biggest loser from The Biggest Loser.

Higgins: How's Dani doing?
Ted: Oh, he's a little shell-shocked, but Dani's a lot like an expensive tape measure. He snaps back real quick.

Higgins: I should go. I promised the boys we'd watch Empire Strikes Back tonight, and I have to get my thoughts together for when they ask about Luke and Leia making out.

Ted: (about Roy) He knows he's always got a ticket waiting for him at will call?
Keeley: Yeah.
Ted: And don't forget, I don't put it under his name. I don't want folks messing with him. It's under an alias. Like, last week it was Loretta Lynn, this week was Dolly Parton, and next week is, if I remember correctly, Shania Twain.

Roy: (to his 8-year old girls football team) You listen to me! You play like that next week, you can kiss the trophy goodbye, 'cause today, you all played like a bunch of little pricks! You hear me?
Team: Yes, Coach!
Roy: Except for Kokoruda. Way to put your body on the line out there.
Litle Girl: You know it, Coach.
Roy: All right, Monika's mum brought orange slices. Don't eat the peels, you animals. Off you go.

Keeley: Phoebe, how was the match today?
Phoebe: Outstanding. I got a red card for elbowing a girl in her neck.
Roy: And I'm very proud.

Roy: I see friends all the time.
Keeley: I know. You got your yoga mums. Don't you ever want anything more than sitting in child's pose, getting buzzed on rose, and gossiping about reality TV with a bunch of women that know nothing about you?
Roy: No, I love it.

Roy: I don't wanna be a fu#king football pundit, sat on fu%king telly in a dumb fu%king suit like a know-it-all twat. It's a shit job for shit people. I'd rather shit out my own fu^king mouth than do that fu$king shit.
Keeley: Got it.

Ted: I haven't seen someone that disappointed to see me since I wore a red baseball cap to a Planned Parenthood fundraiser.

Rebecca: So this chap I've been seeing... John.
Ted: (excited) Stamos?
Rebecca: No, his name's John Wingsnight... but that's not the point.
Ted: Now hold on a second. His name's John Wingsnight? Like at a sports bar? Like, "Monday night's wings night down at PJ Flatts," like that?
Rebecca: Ted, would you please stop?
Ted: Rule number one: Even though it's called "girl talk," sometimes it needs to be more like, "Girl, listen."

Coach Beard: We got a situation, Coach.
Nathan: He's underselling. We have a Shakespearean fu$king tragedy.

Ted: Dani, what happened between you and Earl, that wasn't your fault, you know. You suffered an unlikely and tragic coincidence. Not too dissimilar from those seen throughout Paul Thomas Anderson's 1999 opus, Magnolia.
Dani: Is that Tom Cruise with a little, tiny ponytail?
Ted: No, Dani. I think you're thinking about The Last Samurai.
Coach Beard: He's got a little, tiny ponytail in Magnolia too, Coach.
Ted: Oh, thank you, Coach. My apologies, Dani. Tom Cruise was rocking a little, tiny ponytail in both those films.

Ted: Hey, fellas! Line up for Midnight Poutine!

Ted: Well, fellas, I am more stumped than Paul Bunyan's local forest.

Nathan: If Dani needs motivation, we could always just show him his goddamn paycheck.
Ted: I mean, that's a tad aggressive, you know. But hey, I shouldn't bring an umbrella to a brainstorm, so I appreciate you getting the ball rolling, Nate.

Coach Beard: I think we already know what it is, don't we, Coach?
Ted: What you talking about, Willis?
Coach Beard: (holds up a clipboard with "The Yips" written on it)
Ted: Hey, you're not supposed to say that out loud.
Coach Beard: Which is why I wrote it down.

Ted: We don't say the Y-word out loud, you understand? It's like saying Macbeth in a theater, or Voldemort at Hogwarts, or...
Coach Beard: Soccer in England.

Nathan: What are the yips?
Coach Beard: It's when, just out of nowhere, an athlete suddenly can't do the basic fundamentals of their sport.
Ted: Yeah, you know, like Chuck Knoblauch's throw to first, or Charles Barkley's golf swing. You guys know what I mean... (no response)... Sometimes being here is like living in a foreign country.

Higgins: Ted, what are your thoughts on therapy?
Ted: General apprehension and a modest Midwestern skepticism. Why do you ask?

John: And now, we're nose-to-nose with one another, and half of me is thinking, "Just kick this jerk in the balls and when he bends over, give him a knee to the nose and be done with it, 'cause screw this guy." And the other half of me is thinking, "But it's Martin Short. You love Martin Short." Well, the next thing you know, this tiny American woman says, "Is that it?" And sure enough, there it was, wedged between the couch cushions, Martin Short's wallet.
Rebecca: Martin Short's wallet. I mean, he didn't steal it.

Roy: We got a cup final next week.
John: In October... W-What cup's that?
Roy: West London under-nine girls.

John: Can I just say that your retirement speech was amazing. It's the first time my father's forwarded me an e-mail in the last five years that wasn't about the scourge of immigration. And that really meant a lot to me, so thank you.
Roy: Cheers.

Mae: Shame what happened to Earl. Him and his owner, Nigel, used to come in here all the time, till he started shitting and pissing all over the place.
Ted: Yeah. Nah, that's pretty common with older dogs.
Mae: No, I'm talking about Nigel.

Ted: Hey, Coach, can I get real a second? Forget my meal a second?
Coach Beard: Put down your beer and tell your buddy how you feel a second?

Ted: I'm all for whatever it takes to help Dani get back to being a hundred. But this whole idea of bringing in someone from the outside to help us get him there, I don't know, it just kinda puts a little knot in my belly. I'm not sure why.
Coach Beard: Sounds like it might be your favorite Gin Blossoms song.
Ted: "Follow You Down"?
Coach Beard: No, "Hey Jealousy."
Ted: No, "Hey Jealousy" is their best song. My favorite song of theirs is "Follow You Down." You don't know that story?
Coach Beard: Uuhhhh...

Coach Beard: Do you remember what you said when I got dumped by that cruise ship dancer and swore I would never date another dancer again?
Ted: "Can I have your tap shoes?"
Coach Beard: "All people are different people."
Ted: I said that? That's pretty good.
Coach Beard: Yeah.
Ted: You went out with another dancer though?
Coach beard: Many. Too many.

Roy: Most people are fine. But it's not about him. It's about why the fu$k you think he deserves you. You deserve someone who makes you feel like you've been struck by lightning. Don't you dare settle for fine. Not that it's any of my business.

Sharon: Oh, you don't need to stand.
Ted: But it makes it a lot easier to do this. (singing and twirling) It's nice to meet you. It's nice to meet you. Consider this song our way to greet you. Hey!

Ted: Dani, this is Dr. Sharon Fieldstone.
Sharon: Nice to meet you, Dani. How you feeling?
Dani: Like a murderer.

John: And remember, this is when tickets to Stomp were tough to get. Anyway, this tall redhead pushes in front of me, so I tap him on the shoulder, he turns around and goes, "Is there a problem?" I go, "Yeah, there's a problem." He goes, "It's all right. It's all right. I know the choreographer." Guess who it was?

Ted: Hey, they got a whole bunch of new emojis on here. You see this?
Coach Beard: Do you remember when they added Groucho but no Harpo? It's bullshit.

Dani: Dr. Sharon helped me remember that even though football is life, football is also death. And that football is football too. But mostly that football is life!
Ted: Yeah.

Music

"Ted Lasso Theme" by Marcus Mumford & Tom Howe (Opening)

"Wise Up" by Aimee Mann (Plays when Rebecca has second thoughts about John)

"Life Is Life" by Opus (Closing credits music)

Notes and Trivia

When Ted and Coach Beard exchange the dialogue, "Hey, Coach, can I get real a second? Forget my meal a second?", "Put down your beer and tell your buddy how you feel a second?", it is a sendup to the musical "Hamilton," and the song "Right Hand Man," where George Washington sings, "Can I be real a second? For just a millisecond? Let down my guard and tell the people how I feel a second?"

The episode title "Goodbye Earl" is meant as an homage to the team's beloved mascot, a greyhound named "Earl," but it is also the name of a song the Dixie Chicks brought to fame.

In an Apple TV Plus event prior to season two, a video teased Ted's shortbread recipe by slipping in a graphic with the words "Ted Lasso's Secret Shortbread (makes about one box)" plus an icon image of a shortbread box. Then they revealed half of one line, and the credits stopped... revealing nothing else.

Coincidentally, or on purpose, the number 1236 was used twice in the episode. The first time by Roy's niece Phoebe when she totaled the amount of swearing penalty money owed, then again when the coaches revealed their high score in the office paper ball game.

Just prior to this episode airing, it was announced that "Ted Lasso" had earned 20 Primetime Emmy nominations.

It is interesting that Ted, Dani and Coach Beard discussed the 1999 Paul Anderson film "Magnolia," which featured the Aimee Mann song "Wise Up," and later the same song was heard in this episode when Rebecca was reconsidering her date with John.

Rebecca's boyfriend John was played by Patrick Baladi, who you may recall as Neil Godwin, David Brent's nemesis in the British version of "The Office."

Goofs

None

Locations

Details about common filming locations such as The Crown and Anchor Pub, The Dog Pound Stadium and The Richmond Greyhounds practise field can be found here.

The scene of Roy, Keeley and Phoebe sitting by the River Thames with a boathouse in the background was filmed at The Embankment in Twickenham. (Google Street View)

The indoor and outdoor scenes where Roy and Keeley join Rebecca and John for dinner were filmed at Gaucho Richmond, The Towpath Richmond, Richmond. England. (Google Street View)

Cast

StarringJason SudeikisTed Lasso
StarringHannah WaddinghamRebecca Welton
StarringJeremy SwiftHiggins
StarringPhil DunsterJamie Tartt
StarringBrett GoldsteinRoy Kent
StarringBrendan HuntCoach Beard
StarringNick MohammedNathan Shelley
StarringSarah NilesSharon
Starring (With)Juno TempleKeeley Jones
Guest StarringToheeb JimohSam Obisanya
Guest StarringCristo FernandezDani Rojas
Guest StarringKola BokinniIsaac
Guest StarringAnnette BadlandMae
Guest StarringJames LanceTrent Crimm
Guest StarringRuth BradleyMs. Bowen
Guest StarringPatrick BaladiJohn
Co-StarringBilly HarrisColin
Co-StarringMoe Jeudy-LamourThierry Zoreaux
Co-StarringStephen ManasRichard Montlaur
Co-StarringArlo WhiteHimself
Co-StarringChris PowellHimself
Co-StarringMohammed HashimMoe Bumbercatch
Co-StarringDavid ElsendoornJan Maas
Co-StarringCharlie HiscockWill Kitman
Co-StarringMarcus OniludeMarcus
Co-StarringElodie BlomfieldPhoebe
Co-StarringGuy PorrittGary
Co-StarringAnna Martine FreemanSarah
Co-StarringHugh FutcherNigel
Co-StarringEllie JadevAmelia
Co-StarringAroop ShergillAddison
Co-StarringFleur EastJaylah Vivienne
Co-StarringGeorgia GagenEllie
Co-StarringMiguel Gaspar HarichiDanthony
Co-StarringSarah FordNicole
Co-StarringJuliet PrewLauren
Co-StarringKate PerryJanice
Co-StarringKaye BrownRachel
Co-StarringRosalind AdlerDani