S02E04 - Carol of the Bells

No: 14  |  Season: 2   Episode: 4  |  Air Date: 13-Aug-21  |  Runtime: mins

Summary

It's Christmas and the Richmond crew prepare to celebrate. Ted facetimes his son, and the distance sends him to drinking. However, he is rescued by Rebecca and taken on a mission of good cheer. Instead of a planned "Sexy Christmas," Keeley and Roy go on a mission to help Roy's niece Phoebe. Meanwhile, Higgins invites the team to his house, and most of them show up!

Director and Writers

Director: Declan Lowney
Writers: Joe Kelly

Quotes

Colin: A scarf. Cool. Bumbercatch, did you make this?
Bumbercatch: Yeah, man, knitting soothes me. Sorry. I didn't know everyone was doing booze.
Colin: Nah, mate. Cheers! This is great. I can wrap it around my booze.

Ted: Nate, is this a photo of you and me after our first win?
Nathan: Yeah.
Ted: Thanks, buddy. I appreciate it. Look at that.
Keeley: "Ted, thank you for everything you've done for me. Nathan." What a lovely inscription...
Coach Beard: ...that you wrote completely over my head, face and body.

Coach Beard: Jane and I are going to a pagan Christmas ritual at Stonehenge.
Keeley: What? I thought you two broke up.
Coach Beard: We did, but we got the tickets before we broke up. So, we're going as friends. That's gonna be...

Keeley: Roy and I are celebrating a new tradition that I'm calling "Sexy Christmas." It's not gonna be like that. It's gonna be a swinging... a swinging Sinatra, Vegas-y type Christmas for adults where we get all dressed up, and we sip on martinis, sit by the fire... and then it's gonna be like that.

Ted: How you spending the rest of Santa's birthday?
Rebecca: I'm going to a Christmas party at a friend's house.
Keeley: What friend's that? First and last name, please.
Rebecca: Elton John.
Ted: Hold me closer, Tiny Dancer, Prancer and Vixen.

Rebecca: It's actually rather lovely. We just sing carols around Elton's piano, and hopefully Rachel Weisz and Daniel Craig will do their puppet show again.
Ted: That sounds like double-O heaven to me.

Ted: Once Henry wakes up here, in about an hour, he wants us to open presents and spend all day together on FaceTime. It's gonna be a lovely afternoon of yuletide cheer in two dimensions.

Keeley: Did you not buy a Secret Santa gift?
Jamie: I didn't know I had to. The email said "Secret Santa." I didn't wanna ruin the surprise, did I?

Keeley: Don't worry about it. We can do Sexy Boxing Day.
Roy: Can't. I've got a match all day. Working.
Keeley: I can't do the day after. Sexy December 28th?
Roy: 28th. Sexiest of all the days.

Higgins: Sam, back home, what does Christmas make you think of?
Sam: Colonization.
Higgins: Of course.

Sam: Back home in Lagos, we have good friends who celebrate, and they always eat jollof rice and goat meat, so I made you some... but I used chicken.
Higgins: Thank God.

Keeley: Phoebe, whatever it is, we just wanna try and make it better.
Roy: What have you got to be sad about? Did one of the Paw Patrol dogs die?

Keeley: Why did Bernard get you toothpaste and mouthwash for Christmas, babe?
Phoebe: Because he told everyone my breath is rancid.
Roy: Right, where does Bernard live?
Keeley: Roy, we are not going to go beat up a little kid.
Roy: Why not?

Roy: I've spent the last 20 years in locker rooms with men. I promise you, I've smelled worse.
(Phoebe breathes on him)
Roy: I think you might be dying.

Roy: We're going to my stupid posh neighborhood, and we're gonna start knocking on doors. And if we don't find a dentist in 10 houses, you each get ?1,000.
Keeley: Let's go get our coats.
Phoebe: Yeah!

Dani: My mother was very happy I wouldn't be alone on Christmas and insisted I bring a traditional Mexican ponche! If you want to be a little bit cheeky, you can put some tequila in it.
Julie: Dani, it already smells like it has tequila in it.
Dani: Yes, this one is pre-cheeked.

Jan Maas: I brought fried chicken.
Higgins: Is that a Christmas tradition in Holland?
Jan Maas: No.
Higgins: Oh...

Rebecca: How's FaceTime Christmas with Henry going?
Ted: Well, I lost him to an overpriced guilt gift. Hubris, thy name is Ted.
Rebecca: Grab a coat. You're coming with me.

Ted: I love the buskers y'all got over here. Always reminds me of that movie, Once. You ever see that?
Rebecca: Great film.
Ted: Yeah, I loved Once so much, I saw it twice.

(After Ted donates loose change to the buskers, Rebecca donates a roll of bills)
Ted: Oh, shit. I guess that's what I get for taking a tinkle next to John Holmes.

Rebecca: Did he just call you a wanker?
Ted: Yeah, it's an inside joke. Mostly inside of him.

Roy: This isn't embarrassing. Embarrassing is me eating so much ice cream at a birthday party, knowing I'm no good with dairy, that I poop my pants on the bus. (pauses)
Keeley: Finish your story...
Roy: Three weeks ago.

Kid: You pooped your pants? Roy Kent?
Roy: Yeah, so?
Kid: I do too, sometimes.
Roy: Well... let's both try and knock that off, shall we?

Dani: We're not gonna make it. Tell my incredibly beautiful wife I love her.
Zoreaux: I'm not gonna do that, 'cause you'll tell her yourself. Then you're gonna hook me up with her identical, beautiful twin sister.

Sam: Why did you bring a date to the team Christmas party?
Richard: The French believe that having a beautiful woman around is always a good thing.
Jan Maas: That was not true with the Helter Skelter murders.

Child: Mom! There are two white people at the door and they're smiling!
Mother: Can I help you?
Rebecca: Good afternoon. We work for Santa Claus, and I believe he received this.
Child: My letter!
Rebecca: Yes, we're terribly sorry that your presents didn't arrive last night. But as elves we've been personally directed by Mr. and Mrs. Claus to deliver your presents this afternoon and to apologize for the delay. Am I forgetting anything?
Ted: Well, you see what happened was Rudolph's nose shined so brightly that it rendered me unable to see, and I was... I was delirious for several minutes. And I ended up putting this whole sack of goodies on the wrong sled. I mean, you know, ain't that nuts? Anyway, this bad boy's been around the world at least twice over the past day so? Yeah, you smell that? That's the Himalayas right there. That's all for you.
Child: Am I getting notes of Beijing?
Ted: I bet you are, yeah.

Tommy: Yo! Can I get an ussie?
Roy: Fine.
Tommy: Not with you, mate. With Keeley. I mean, you're a legend at Chelsea but shit at Richmond. But Keeley Jones was a seminal figure throughout my teenage years.

Ted: How long have you been doing this?
Rebecca: For years, but then Rupert... You know, I should have done it last year, but I just sat by myself instead. Drinking and plotting horrible things.
Ted: Oh, yeah? Like what?
Rebecca: Look, I know all too well how stunningly shitty the first Christmas after you get divorced can be. I just wanted to make sure you're okay.
Ted: Yeah, well, I am now, you know. A lot better than I would have been if I just drank whiskey all day and watched It's a Wonderful Life on repeat. That could have gone dark.

Ted: You're willing to miss a puppet show by Daniel Craig and Rachel Weisz? 'Cause that sounds like a lot of fun.
Rebecca: Don't get me wrong, they are incredible. But all I really want to see those two do together is fu$k.

Higgins: To my lovely wife, Julie, my sons... To you and all your families back in Lagos, Guadalajara, Groningen, Cordon, Montreal, Benin City, Harare, Kingston... and Santa Cruz de la Sierra.

Music

"Mele Kalikimaka" by Bing Crosby & The Andrews Sisters (Plays when they are wrapping Jamie's gift)

"Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" by Ella Fitzgerald (Plays as Keeley prepares for sexy Christmas)

"Little Saint Nick" by The Beach Boys (Plays when Higgins brings out the wrapped surfboard)

"I'll Be Home for Christmas" by Dean Martin (Plays in the background as Ted opens his son's gift)

"Last Christmas" by Wham! (Played by the street buskers)

"Santa Baby" by Eartha Kitt (Plays while Richard's hot girlfriend is suggestively eating)

"It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas" by Harry Connick, Jr. (Plays when Rebecca and Ted are handing out gifts)

"Carol Of The Bells" by John Williams (Plays while Keeley, Roy and Phoebe search for a dentist.)

"Up on the Housetop" by John Swanson (Plays as dinner is served at the Higgins household)

"Fairytale of New York (feat. Kirsty MacColl)" by The Pogues (Plays as Keeley, Roy and Phoebe walk down the street in triumph)

"Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)" by Mariah Carey (Sang by Rebecca (and Ted) outside the Higgins house)

Notes and Trivia

This is the first episode that included a different opening credits scene, using animated characters for each show star instead of the regular scene showing Jason Sudeikis sitting in the stands.

This is the first season 2 episode that did not include Sarah Niles (Dr. Sharon Fieldstone.)

As Ted drinks and watches "It's A Wonderful Life," the scene turns to a sorrowful George Bailey about to jump off a bridge when his guardian angel saves him. This is the exact moment that he realizes Rebecca is outside, also there to rescue him from sorrow.

When Ted and Rebecca are enjoying the buskers, they discuss the film "Once," a 2007 romantic musical drama written and directed by John Carney, and starring Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova as two struggling musicians in Dublin, Ireland.

When Rebecca arranged tinsel garlands on the ground to spell "HI TED," it is a reference to the Season 1 scene where Ted had the players lay on the field and spell "Hi Boss!" for Rebecca.

When Roy, Keeley, and Phoebe visit Bernard's house with the poster board signs, this is a sendup to the romantic comedy "Love Actually," where Andrew Lincoln's character does a similar stunt.

The dentist in the episode is played by Claire Skinner, who is actually the real-life mother of the actor Bill Skinner, who plays the young man (Tommy) who asks for an "Ussie."

The lengthy tracking shot showing the length of the Christmas dinner table at the Higgins household was inspired by a similar scene in the 1927 silent movie "Wings," and was specifically requested by Jason Sudeikis.

Although we see how most of the characters celebrate Christmas, we never get to see how things go for Nathan or Coach Beard.

The cities Higgins mentions in the toast he makes at the end of dinner are the actual hometowns of the actors.

Goofs

None

Locations

Details about common filming locations such as The Crown and Anchor Pub, The Dog Pound Stadium and The Richmond Greyhounds practise field can be found here.

The scene where Rebecca arranged tinsel garlands on the ground to spell "HI TED" was filmed in the square near Paved Court and the Richmond Green. Note that it is close to the location outside where Ted's apartment is filmed, but not in the exact same location. (Google Street View)

Exterior scenes where Roy and Keeley were trying to find a dentist were filmed on Old Palace Terrace Road, in Richmond, England. The location where they speak with the kid about pooping pants was at 4 Old Palace Terrace Road. (Google Street View)

Exterior scenes where Roy, Keeley and Phoebe visit Bernard's house and perform the "Love Actually" scene were filmed on Church Walk, at the end of Church Court, Richmond. You can see St. Mary Magdalene Richmond Church in the background. (Google User Content)

The scene where Roy, Keeley and Phoebe visit a pharmacy was filmed at Busby's Pharmacy, 9 Grove Park Rd, Chiswick, London. (Google Street View)

Cast

StarringJason SudeikisTed Lasso
StarringHannah WaddinghamRebecca Welton
StarringJeremy SwiftLeslie Higgins
StarringPhil DunsterJamie Tartt
StarringBrett GoldsteinRoy Kent
StarringBrendan HuntCoach Beard
StarringNick MohammedNathan Shelley
Starring (With)Juno TempleKeeley Jones
Guest StarringToheeb JimohSam Obisanya
Guest StarringCristo FernandezDani Rojas
Guest StarringKola BokinniIsaac
Guest StarringAndrea AndersMichelle
Guest StarringClaire SkinnerDr. Rogers
Co-StarringBilly HarrisColin Hughes
Co-StarringMoe Jeudy-LamourThierry Zoreaux
Co-StarringStephen ManasRichard
Co-StarringMohammed HashimMoe Bumbercatch
Co-StarringDavid ElsendoornJan Maas
Co-StarringCharlie HiscockWill
Co-StarringMary RoscoeJulie
Co-StarringJake HawkinsDana Higgins
Co-StarringThomas HowesTerry Higgins
Co-StarringFreddy SamuelsKris Higgins
Co-StarringAlfie SmithSteve Higgins
Co-StarringElodie BlomfieldPhoebe
Co-StarringGus TurnerHenry
Co-StarringDesmond ColeKenny
Co-StarringDaniel HaydeLindsay
Co-StarringAnnelle AlaleyeCassie
Co-StarringAnnmarie AnangTonya
Co-StarringSami AmberRyan
Co-StarringCam'ron JosephJoseph
Co-StarringAdam Taylor "Admt"Busker
Co-StarringLeona Norskov JorgensenBusker
Co-StarringTom PredergastBusker
Co-StarringBill SkinnerTommy
Co-StarringTia-Loren BourneEmmanuel
Co-StarringSolly CowderyBernard
Co-StarringTom CotcherMr. Mann