S02E12 - Inverting the Pyramid of Success

No: 22  |  Season: 2   Episode: 12  |  Air Date: 8-Oct-21  |  Runtime: 49 mins


Season finale. As the team prepares for the most important game of the season, Sam makes the most important decision of his career. Ted deals with the fallout of Trent Crimm's expose. Keeley celebrates good news, and a change of careers, while Roy supports her all the way. Nathan slips further into a pit of darkness.

Director and Writers

Director: Declan Lowney
Writers: Jason Sudeikis & Joe Kelly


George: Would Bill Shankly have a panic attack, eh? Would Brian Clough? Would Alex Ferguson have a panic attack? Be fair. No, of course he wouldn't. Look, if your ship's being attacked, right? And you run to the bridge, you want to find a captain whose brain works, not some big girl's blouse.
Jeff: I miss Roy.

Mr. Mann: Hey, wanker. If my father had a panic attack at Normandy, we'd all be speaking German.
Ted: Yes, sir.
Mr. Mann: Just do the work, pal. You'll be all right.

Higgins: Whenever I see him in a hallway, I just give him a cool nod. You know, like this.
Keeley: Oh, sh1t. That was cool.
Higgins: I know, right? I saw it in a Denzel Washington movie, and I thought, "I'm taking that."

Ted: Hey. What's the story, Paul Shorey?
Keeley: So sorry about the article, Ted.
Ted: Oh, that's okay, Keeley. You know what they say. No such thing as bad publicity, right? Although, I think they might've been wrong about that one, which is a bummer 'cause they were spot on with the beer before liquor thing.

Ted: Fact is, everything they said was true. And unlike Lieutenant Kaffee, I actually can handle the truth.

Ted: Hey, don't you worry, Hig Newton. I'm on it like a bonnet.

Rebecca: (eating a biscuit) Oh, God. These taste like sh1t.
Ted: Oh, yeah. Well, it was a rough night, and I am now absolutely positive that I switched the salt and sugar. I'm sorry about that.
Rebecca: No, no, no. (continues to taste the biscuit) No, it's interesting. She's a sneaky, salty bitch.
Ted: Like Heather Locklear on Melrose Place, right?
Higgins: Oh, yeah.
Keeley: That's exactly how you'd describe her.
Rebecca: (savouring the biscuit) Oh, Heather.

Jamie: All right? Is Roy here?
Coach Beard: I don't hear any grunting.

Jamie: Can I just say something first?
Roy: Yeah, okay. That's a good idea 'cause when I'm done, you won't have any teeth left, and you'll need them for the talking bit.
Jamie: Right. Yeah, okay. So, at Rebecca's dad's funeral, I told Keeley that I still loved her. It was wrong, and I shouldn't have done it, but I ain't used to being around dead people. It just... It did something to me, emotionally, you know? But I still... I shouldn't have done it, and it was wrong, but I just need you to know that I respect you, and I respect Keeley, and I respect your relationship, and I will never ever do anything like that ever again.
Roy: F*ck!

Keeley: (on the phone) It definitely sounds both helpful and compassionate. But I don't think that you moderating a session between Coach Lasso and a celebrity psychiatrist is the best move right now. All his attention is on Brentford. Thank you very much. (Hangs up the phone) F*ck you, Piers Morgan.

Ted: Hey, fellas. Before we get started here, I wanted to talk to y'all about the article you saw in the paper this morning. Actually, y'all probably saw it on your phones. I still get the paper, 'cause, well, you can't cut cartoons out of a phone, right?
Zoreaux: Yeah, but you can screenshot them and text them.
Isaac: That's copyright infringement, bruv.
Ted: I hear you, Zoreaux, but you can't hang a screenshot on a fridge either.
Dani: My refrigerator has a television.
Sam: I think I have the same one.

Ted: (to the team) Y'all found out about something from somewhere, when you should've found out about it from me first. But I chose not to tell y'all, and that was dumb. You know, fellas, we make a lot of choices in our lives every single day, ranging from, "Am I really about to eat something called Greek yogurt?" To, "Should I leave my family and take a job halfway around the world?" Me choosing not to be forthright with y'all, that was a bad choice. But I can't be wasting time wishing for a do-over on all that. 'Cause that ain't how choices work. No, sir. No. That choice, and my Chicago Bulls Starter jacket that I let Janelle Rhodes borrow my sophomore year 'cause she spilled ketchup all over herself, and it looked like she'd been shot, those are two things I ain't getting back. 'Cause every choice is a chance, fellas. And I didn't give myself the chance to build further trust with y'all. To quote the great UCLA college basketball coach, John Obi-Wan Gandalf, "It is our choices, gentlemen, what show what we truly are, far more than our abilities." Now, I hope y'all can forgive me for what I've done. 'Cause I sure as heck wouldn't want any of y'all to hold anything back with me.
Isaac: Nah, we got you, Coach.

Colin: No problem, gaffer. And when we sniff out the rat, permission to take socks full of soap to their stomach and chest?
Isaac: We're gonna find 'em and f*ck 'em up!
Ted: No, fellas, look. I'm gonna nip that talk in the butt right now.
Coach Beard: It's "bud" not "butt," Coach.
Ted: It is? 'Cause of flowers, right?
Coach Beard: Horticulture, baby!

Higgins: (holding two small dogs) This is Mascot Idol: Semifinals. One of these two contestants will be our new mascot. Will it be Macy Greyhound or Tina Feyhound?

Higgins: A good mentor hopes you will move on. A great mentor knows you will.
Keeley: I like that.
Higgins: Yeah? Just made it up.

Coach Beard: Just need a second. It's Jane.
Ted: How's all that going?
Coach Beard: We broke up. (Checks his phone) We're back on.

Roy: We're opening the champagne.
Keeley: What? No, I thought we were saving that for something really, really special.
Roy: Well, we didn't open it when your mum moved back up north. We didn't open it when England got zero points in the Eurovision. And we didn't open it when the neighbor ran over their own snake.
Keeley: That was nasty.
Roy: So we are drinking it tonight. Duck. (pops the cork)

Roy: They better not have used any pictures of me smiling.
Keeley: Like that exists...
(Keeley opens the article on her iPad)
Roy: Wow.
Keeley: Oh, no. They didn't use any of the pictures with you in them. I'm so sorry, Roy. That is not cool. I'm gonna reach out and change that.
Roy: Don't you dare. Don't you change a f*cking thing. You look powerful. You're f*cking gorgeous. You look like a BILF.
Keeley: Oh, yeah? Go on, show me, then.

Coach Beard: So... Are you gonna say anything?
Ted: Well, I mean, eventually, yeah. You may have noticed through the years I can be quite loquacious.

Coach Beard: You keep trying to hold all this in, I'm afraid your mustache is gonna pop off.
Ted: Then I'll look like that fella from The Hangover.
Coach Beard: Bradley Cooper?
Ted: You're too good to me.

Keeley: You helped this panda become a lion.
Rebecca: (sobbing) I'm so proud of you.

Ted: Did you get kicked out of your office again?
Higgins: No, no. Temporary relocation while they change the carpet in there. It was absolutely covered in dog sh1t.
Ted: Oh, yeah. No, been there, done that.

Ted: Roy, are you saying you wanna become a Diamond Dog?
Roy: F*ck no. I'm just saying I wouldn't mind being in the room whilst it f*cking happens.
Ted: Yeah. Okay. Well, how about a one-time visitor's pass for our junkyard dog here, yeah?
(all bark together)
Ted: Diamond Dogs, mount up!

Higgins: In year five, I was not allowed in the class photo because I developed a rare smile allergy. (looks awkward)

Roy: (about Keeley) The thing is... she looked so f*cking great. On her own. Without me. So natural. I... It would've actually been f*cking weird if I was in the pictures. And then at Rebecca's dad's funeral, Jamie f*cking Tartt tells her he's f*cking in love with her.
Coach Beard: And he's still alive?
Roy: Yeah. Instead of beating him to death, I f*cking forgave him. I'm still f*cking furious about it.

Nathan: Roy, when Keeley and I went shopping the other day, I kissed her.
Roy: Yeah. She told me about it. It's okay.
Nathan: I kissed her. I kissed your girlfriend.
Roy: We're good.
Nathan: All Jamie did was talk to her, and you wanted to kill him. Don't you at least wanna headbutt me or something?
Roy: You made a mistake, Nate. Don't worry about it.
Nathan: No, no, I deserve to be headbutted.
Coach Beard: I'd be happy to headbutt you, Nate.

Roy: Wait. So sometimes the f*cking Diamond Dogs is just chatting about sh1t, and no one has to f*cking solve anything and nothing f*cking changes?
Ted: Sometimes. Yeah.
Roy: That's cool.

Ted: Hey, Nate. Hey. Everything okay?
Nathan: Yes, Ted. Everything is okay.
Ted: What is it? What'd I do?
Nathan: What are you talking about?
Ted: Oh, come on, man. You're mad as hell at me. I just wanna know why. Huh? What have I got to learn here?
Nathan: You wanna know what you did?
Ted: Yeah, please.
Nathan: Okay. I'll tell you what you did. You made me feel like I was the most important person in the whole world. And then, you abandoned me. Like you switched out a light, just like that. And I worked my ass off, trying to get your attention back. To prove myself to you. To make you like me again. But the more I did, the less you cared. It was like I was f*cking invisible. You haven't even got the photo I gave you for Christmas up in your office. Just a picture of dumb Americans. Now you're gonna play Nate's false nine, so when the team f*ck up, which they will, hey, you can blame it on me. Well, no. f*ck that. (wiping his eyes) Everybody loves you. The Great Ted Lasso. Well, I think you're a f*cking joke. Without me, you wouldn't have won a single match. They would've shipped your ass back to Kansas, where you belong. With your son. 'Cause you sure as hell don't belong here... But I do. I belong here. This didn't just fall into my lap, all right? I earned this.
Ted: I know you did, Nate. And if I didn't tell you how important you were to me enough, I'm sorry about that.
Nathan: No, no. You know what? You're full of sh1t. Just f*ck you, Ted.

Arlo: Chris, is time running out on Richmond's chances to control their future?
Chris: Only if you think of time as linear, Arlo.
Arlo: Yes, Chris. I do.

Jamie: (gives the ball to Dani) Dani. You got this, muchacho. It'll be fun. Trust me.
Arlo: It looks like Tartt is giving the ball to Rojas, who hasn't kicked a penalty since, well...
Mae: Come on, Dani!
Ted: Let's go, Dani!
Coach Beard: Here we go, Dani!
Dani: Football is life... (kicks the goal)

Arlo: With that goal, they'll finish in second place and will return to the Premier League in their very first attempt.
Fans: (chanting) We are going up! We are going up! We are going up! Yeah, we are going up!

Players: (in locker room) We're Richmond till we die. We know we are, we're sure we are, we're Richmond till we die! We're Richmond till we die. We know we are, we're sure we are, we're Richmond till we die!

Sam: Mr. Akufo. I truly enjoyed meeting you, and I'm so flattered by your offer. I'm sorry, but my answer is, "No, thank you." And I don't believe my time here at Richmond is over. And for that reason, I have to stay. I hope you can understand.
Edwin Akufo: (yelling) You Nigerian m*therf*cker! You Yoruba trash. Who the f*ck do you think you are, wasting my time? You medium-talent piece of sh1t.
Sam: Medium-talent?
Edwin: I will dedicate my life to destroying you, you f*cking asshole! You will never play on the Nigerian national team. You understand me, pinky-dick? Never! I will buy your childhood home, and I will take a sh1t in every room. And then I will burn the place down. Yeah. Then, I will sit there, and I'll eat kenkey, and I'll poop on the f*cking ashes. I promise you this, hey.
Sam: Okay.

Ted: Before living here, I used to think still water was just folks saying it's still water, you know? Like, it was water, and it continues to remain to be water.
Rebecca: Well, there's no greater education than travel.

Trent Crimm: Coach Lasso!
Ted: Hey. There he is. I was worried about you. I thought you might've been in a bike accident.
Trent: Actually, I don't know how to ride a bicycle.
Ted: Really? That surprises me.
Trent: Why? 'Cause of the hair and the whole vibe?
Ted: Yeah, I guess so.

Ted: Well, as the man says, you gotta follow your bliss, right?

Ted: You know what this makes you now, though, right?
Trent: Trent Crimm. Independent.

Keeley: How did you get actual printed tickets?
Roy: From my travel agent, Kathy. She's old-school.
Keeley: Roy, are you sure they still take paper tickets at airports? Like, is the plane gonna have propellers? Oh, my God. Am I gonna be able to smoke on the flight?


"Yesterday's Papers" by The Rolling Stones (Plays as Ted witnesses people reading newspapers featuring a story about himself)

"Don't Bring Me Down" by Electric Light Orchestra (Plays as everyone prepares for the big game)

"yankee and the brave (ep.4)" by Run The Jewels (End credits music)

Notes and Trivia

Although Sarah Niles (Dr. Sharon Fieldstone) was credited for this episode, she only appeared as a voice message in Ted's phone.

Coach Beard is reading Inverting The Pyramid: The History of Soccer Tactics by Jonathan Wilson. This is the same book he was reading on the plane in the first episode of the series.

When Coach Beard joked that Ted's moustache might "pop off," Ted replied that he would "look like that fella from 'The Hangover'." While Coach Beard joked he may be referring to Bradley Cooper, Ted was actually referring to Ed Helms.

In S01E02 - Biscuits Ted said, "Hey, look at Isaac. He looks like a Rodin sculpture in cleats." In this episode, when Ted refers to the team as a "Renaissance painting portraying masculine melancholy," notice how Isaac has taken on a pose similar to the famous Auguste Rodin statue "The Thinker."

When Ted says, "unlike Lieutenant Kaffee, I actually can handle the truth," Ted was comparing himself to Tom Cruise's character Lieutenant Kaffee from "A Few Good Men," a man who was derided for his "truth handling" ability.

When a loquacious Ted said, "To quote the great UCLA college basketball coach, John Obi-Wan Gandalf, 'It is our choices, gentlemen, what show what we truly are, far more than our abilities,'" he wasn't actually quoting UCLA basketball coach John Wooden, Obi-Wan Kenobi from "Star Wars," or Gandalf from "The Lord of The Rings." He was quoting Albus Dumbledore from "Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets."

When Nathan chastised Ted for not displaying the photograph he gifted him at Christmas, fans of the series immediately recalled that the photograph was previously shown on a dresser in Ted's house as he prepared for Rebecca's father's funeral. (S02E10 - No Weddings and a Funeral)

After the Greyhounds tie the match and begin to celebrate, Roy headbutts a surprised Jamie for coming on to Keeley, and then hugged him in celebration. This scene is very similar to a scene in the 1989 movie "Major League" where Cleveland won the game, and in the ensuing celebration Roger Dorn (Corbin Bernsen) punched Ricky Vaughn (Charlie Sheen) for fooling around with his wife, and then hugged him. Even the look on Phil Dunster's face is similar to Charlie Sheen's.

In a Los Angeles Times interview, Nick Mohammed revealed Rupert whispered the line, "You're welcome," to Nathan in the final scene of this episode. Mohammed indicated this line was improvised.

When Edwin called Sam a "medium talent," the words harkened to a famous fight backstage at SNL in 1978, where Bill Murray insulted Chevy Chase by calling him a "medium talent."

It was reported that actor Nick Mohammed dropped to the floor and screamed when he learned how Nate's final act at AFC Richmond would be to rip up the team's "Believe" sign.

If you are wondering about the "autographed" and framed "Pyramid of Success" poster on the wall, Amazon sells many different versions of the same.


It sure looked like Jamie Tartt was way offside when the long pass was delivered by Jan Maas.


Details about common filming locations such as The Crown and Anchor Pub, The Dog Pound Stadium and The Richmond Greyhounds practise field can be found here.

When Sam is speaking to his father on the phone, he is walking on a sidewalk along "The Grn," located on the southeast side of Richmond Green. (Google Street View)

The scene where Sam and a real estate agent close the deal for Sam to open a restaurant was filmed at 20 Thurloe St, South Kensington, London. This is the same location where Sam and Edwin dined in the previous episode. (Google Street View)

It may appear the final scene was filmed at the West Ham United Football Club home stadium, Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park, London Stadium, however the scene was actually filmed at Hayes & Yeading United Football Club and the background was added via CGI.


StarringJason SudeikisTed Lasso
StarringHannah WaddinghamRebecca Welton
StarringJeremy SwiftHiggins
StarringPhil DunsterJamie Tartt
StarringBrett GoldsteinRoy Kent
StarringBrendan HuntCoach Beard
StarringNick MohammedNathan Shelley
StarringSarah NilesDr. Sharon Fieldstone
Starring (With)Juno TempleKeeley Jones
Guest StarringAnthony HeadRupert
Guest StarringToheeb JimohSam Obisanya
Guest StarringCristo FernandezDani Rojas
Guest StarringKola BokinniIsaac
Guest StarringSam RichardsonEdwin Akufo
Guest StarringAnnette BadlandMae
Guest StarringJames LanceTrent Crimm
Co-StarringBilly HarrisColin Hughes
Co-StarringMoe Jeudy-LamourThierry Zoreaux
Co-StarringStephen ManasRichard Montlaur
Co-StarringMohammed HashimMoe Bumbercatch
Co-StarringDavid ElsendoornJan Maas
Co-StarringCharlie HiscockWill Kitman
Co-StarringArlo WhiteHimself
Co-StarringChris PowellHimself
Co-StarringAdam ColborneBaz
Co-StarringBronson WebbJeremy
Co-StarringKevin 'KG' GarryPaul
Co-StarringJeff StellingHimself
Co-StarringChris KamaraHimself
Co-StarringBill FellowsGeorge Cartrick
Co-StarringHugh FletcherNigel
Co-StarringLloyd GriffithLloyd
Co-StarringGuy PorrittGary
Co-StarringTom CotcherMr. Mann
Co-StarringEdwin De La RentaFrancis
Co-StarringJosephine ButlerBlake
Co-StarringMartin BishopRichard
Co-StarringMarcus OniludeMarcus