S03E01 - Smells Like Mean Spirit

No: 23  |  Season: 3   Episode: 1  |  Air Date: 15-Mar-23  |  Runtime: 44 mins


The newly promoted AFC Richmond face mockery as pundits predict they'll finish dead last this season.

Director and Writers

Director: M.J. Delaney
Writers: Leann Bowen


Ted: Sorry about that. We got distracted. Little guy was trying to unlock Princess Peach on Super Smash Bros.
Airport Attendant: Totally understand. I once held an entire flight to Sydney hostage until I finished the final level of Breath of the Wild.
Ted: Hmm. Feels like a potentially troublesome sentence to say in this setting, but, hey, I appreciate you.

Ted: I remember being left at school when I was Henry's age. I ended up helping our custodian, Mr. Maher, clean half the school until my dad remembered to come pick me up. He gave Mr. Maher cash for babysitting me. I showed up to school the next day and Mr. Maher gave me the money as payment for the work I'd done. So then I used that money to buy him a thank-you gift, but never got the chance to give it to him, 'cause, well, he ended up getting hit by a train.
Sharon: Oh, wow. I didn't see that coming.
Ted: Yeah, well, neither did Mr. Maher.

Ted: (to baby in the park) Hey! Holy smokes, I love that hat. I recognize you from that show Leaky Diapers, don't I?

Boyfriend in bed: You finally got off.
Dr. Sharon: Not yet, I didn't.

Rebecca: Oh. No rhyming salutation. Something wrong?
Ted: Way to notice, Amos Otis.

Ted: Dropped him off at the airport a little bit ago. Now he's up in a plane, 10,000 feet in the sky.
Rebecca: I think they fly higher than that.

Ted: I predict all their predictions ain't gonna come true. So, it looks like we got ourselves a prediction Mexican standoff. Or as they call them in Mexico, a prediction standoff.

Rebecca: That is the Ted Lasso I want coaching my team this season. The one who's willing to fight. Understood?
Ted: Yes, ma'am. You watch, from now on, I'll be floating like a butterfly and stinging like a bee. Except I won't die immediately after using my stinger. I plan to float and sting for the entirety of the whole season.

Colin: I had a woman accost me on the street, telling me I should fake an injury this season so I wouldn't have to deal with the misery.
Thierry: Did you tell her to piss off?
Colin: No, she was a nun. They must get Sky Sports in the monasteries.

Roy: So I finally watched it. I liked it. Gene Hackman was good. The drunk geezer. Stuff with the team. I did have one question.
Coach Beard: Yeah, what's that?
Roy: Why the f?ck is it called Hoosiers?

Roy: These little pricks have played 4-4-2 ever since they were kids, which means they'll always know what they're supposed to do, and more importantly, where they're supposed to be at every f?cking minute of every f?cking game against every f?cking opponent.
Ted: Yeesh. Who invented this thing, the Russians?
Roy and Coach Beard: (both) Yeah.

Co-worker: There he is. The Wonder Kid himself.
Nathan: Get out.
Co-worker: (leaves)

Sam: You know who else picked us to finish last?
Colin: Please don't say Adele.
Sam: Paddington Bear. It was on his Twitter account.
Jamie: Yeah, I saw that. On a scale of one marmalade sandwich to five marmalade sandwiches, we've got no marmalade sandwiches.
Dani: Even that sweet little bear does not believe in us.

Roy:F?ck pundits.
Coach Beard: You were a pundit.
Roy: Yeah. And all we did was talk shit and eat f?cking meringues.

Ted: Hey, is Kenneth around today?
Will: Uh, yeah, no. Kenneth lives here.
Ted: Yeah. No, he does work a lot, don't he?
Will: No, no, no. As in, he... He literally lives here at the facility.
Ted: He does? Since when?
Will: Yeah. Uh, ever since his cult got shut down.
Ted: Oh. Kenneth was in a cult?
Will: Mmm. No, no, no, no, no. He... He was the leader of one.

Rebecca: She seems fun.
Keeley: She's my CFO. The company that financed me placed her here. But she's my CFO, yet sometimes my CFO...
Rebecca: Chief Financial Officer.
Keeley: Oh, my. I did not know that. I've been saying "corporate flying object"

Nathan: You. Come over here. Come over here. Come and stand on this line for me. This... This, over here. Yeah. This is a very important line. Everyone, this is the dumb-dumb line. This is where dumb-dumbs go. Stay. You, go in for the dumb-dumb. Try not to join him on the line. Go.

Rupert: What's lovely are these delightful preseason prognostications. Yeah. Aren't they delish? Especially poor, old Richmond. Can you believe they're picked to finish 20th?
Nathan: Well, yeah, because there's no 21st.

Ted: Hey, Ken, thanks again for helping us out at the last second.
Ken: Oh, no worries. You got lucky, really. Ted, it's a good rule of thumb never to ask a hippie to come in on his day off.
Ted: Okay, message received.
Ken:Ah, all right. Well, I'll go and smoke some toad venom while I'm waiting. Then the whole day's not a waste. Cheers.
Ted: (To Coach Beard) Okay. Yeah. He gonna be okay to drive us back? After the toad venom?
Coach Beard: Yeah. He's usually fine in 20 minutes. He'll be forever changed...

Construction Worker: Roy Kent, is that you?
Roy: Get f?ck?d.
Construction Worker: Yeah, definitely him.

Ivor: Back in 1859, an engineer called Joseph Bazalgette and his team built more than 1,200 miles of interconnected tunnels and sewers. And its creation helped cure a massive cholera outbreak after untreated human waste found its way into the River Thames. Anyone know what that epidemic was called?
Coach Beard: Great Stink of 1858.
Ivor: That's correct.

Reporter: How are you and the lads getting on?
Nathan: Yeah, really great. Um... Getting to know them. Getting to know all about them. Getting to like them... Getting to hope... Excuse me a second.

Reporter: Coach Shelley, you are now the manager of a contending Premier League team, but just two years ago, you were a mere kit man, washing another team's underwear. I mean, it must all feel a bit overwhelming for you, yes?
Nathan: Not for me, no. Because I earned this job. What's overwhelming is the confusion I feel when someone so intelligent-looking asks such a stupid question.

Coach Beard: I really like that Kenneth guy. He seems really plugged in, yeah?
Ted: Oh, yeah. No, I agree.
Roy: That nutter told me to ask the f?ck?ng Earth to help me carry some of my burden.
Ted: He ain't wrong.

Ted: I mean, he came and got us, didn't he? No doubt about that. Hey, but that's Nate the Great for you, you know? He's the same way on the pitch. He'll find the tiniest little weakness in a team and just want to attack that, you know? I mean, uh, he's a junkyard dog, man. And smart. They're real lucky to have him over there at West Ham. I wish him the best of luck. I guess I am a little surprised that's all he could come up with. Especially against me. You know, not one joke about me being a dumb American? Come on, man. It's sitting there.

Ted: I mean, I'm so dumb...
Lloyd: How dumb are you?
Ted: I'm so dumb that the first time I heard y'all talking about Yorkshire pudding, I thought it was a fancy word y'all had for dog poop.

Ted: Well, whenever I text someone over here about money, I still spell "pounds" L-B-S.

Ted: Look, man, I'm not a great coach. Probably ain't. I've been doing this sport now for three years, and I still get a chuckle every time someone talks about a handball violation.

Ted: And not one crack about my appearance? About this mustache? I... I... I look like Ned Flanders is doing cosplay as Ned Flanders.

Ted: When I talk, it sounds like Dr. Phil hasn't gone through puberty yet.

Ted: I'm more corny than Kevin Costner's outfield. Ooh, I lost you on that one.


"Wigwam" by Bob Dylan (When Ted is talking to Dr. Sharon)

"Follow the Leader" by Eric B. & Rakim (When Nathan enters the West Ham offices)

"In Another Time" by Sade (When Roy and Keeley are having the Talk with Phoebe.)

"Ring the Alarm" by Beyonce (End credits)

Notes and Trivia

The episode title "Smells Like Mean Spirit" is a reference to the Nirvana song "Smells like Teen Spirit."

Rupert Mannion's office window looks almost exactly like the Emperor's window in the "Star Wars" movie franchise.

When Nathan answers the reporter's question with, "Getting to know them. Getting to know all about them. Getting to like them..." he is making a reference to the lyrics of the song "Getting to Know You" from the musical "The King and I."

The "Great Stink of 1858" was a real thing. It polluted the Thames, made people sick, and led to the creation of a massive and still-in-use sewer system.


Ted Lasso invents the fact there is a direct flight from London to Kansas City.

The IATA code for the Kansas City airport is MCI not KCI.


Details about common filming locations such as The Crown and Anchor Pub, The Dog Pound Stadium and The Richmond Greyhounds practise field can be found here.

The scene where Ted takes the team to the sewer entrance was filmed on Whittaker Ave in Richmond, next to the Richmond War Memorial on the Thames River. Curiously, the round manhole shown in the episode does not actually exist near the location portrayed in the episode. (Google Street View)


StarringJason SudeikisTed Lasso
StarringHannah WaddinghamRebecca Welton
StarringJeremy SwiftLeslie Higgins
StarringPhil DunsterJamie Tartt
StarringBrett GoldsteinRoy Kent
StarringBrendan HuntCoach Beard
StarringNick MohammedNathan Shelley
StarringAnthony HeadRupert Mannion
StarringToheeb JimohSam Obisanya
StarringCristo Fern?ndezDani Rojas
StarringKola BokinniIsaac McAdoo
StarringBilly HarrisColin Hughes
StarringJames LanceTrent Crimm
Starring (With)Juno TempleKeeley Jones
Guest StarringSarah NilesDr. Sharon Fieldstone
Guest StarringKaty WixBarbara
Co-StarringGus TurnerHenry
Co-StarringMoe Jeudy-LamourThierry Zoreaux
Co-StarringStephen ManasRichard Montlaur
Co-StarringMoe HashimMoe Bumbercatch
Co-StarringDavid ElsendoornJan Maas
Co-StarringCharlie HiscockWill Kitman
Co-StarringElodie BlomfieldPhoebe
Co-StarringGreg BarnettChuck
Co-StarringAlice BrittainEmma
Co-StarringRosie LouMs. Kakes
Co-StarringDaniel FearnMel
Co-StarringAndy UmerahDel
Co-StarringMarcia LeckyJ. Brinker
Co-StarringMarcus OniludeMarcus
Co-StarringLloyd GriffithLloyd
Co-StarringEdward JudgeIvor
Co-StarringGuy PorrittGary
Co-StarringMark KempnerKenneth the Bus Driver
Co-StarringAnna Martine FreemanSarah
Co-StarringMitra DjaliliChloe
Co-StarringDarren StrangeDan
Co-StarringOmar IbrahimJonny
Co-StarringSam FletcherRoger
Co-StarringJames McNicholasJames
Co-StarringJadran MalkovichDisco
Co-StarringTom CotcherMr. Mann