S03E10 - International Break

No: 32  |  Season: 3   Episode: 10  |  Air Date: 17-May-23  |  Runtime: 63 mins

Summary

While some Greyhounds head home to their countries to play in international matches, Edwin Akufo brings a business proposal to Rebecca.

Director and Writers

Director: Matt Lipsey
Writers: Jane Becker

Quotes

George Cartrick: Nate Shelley isn't the reason West Ham are in second place. I mean, "Wonder Kid"? Come on. He was my kit man, for God's sake. (chuckles) No, Rupert Mannion is the brains behind this whole operation.

Ted: Hey, look, kind of hurts my feelings y'all don't want to spend next weekend with me, if I'm being honest. But I am the strong silent type, so I ain't gonna let you know. But I'm also loud and weak, because I, like all humans, contain multitudes. Am I right?

Ted: Let's go ahead and wish our friends safe travels and Godspeed, or whatever narcotic your deity chooses to self-medicate with.

Ted: So you're telling me it only shows up once a month? And it never skips a month?
Rebecca: Only if you're pregnant.
Ted: Mmm. Well, shoot. I got to check out this wine delivery service. Sounds like a real corker. Yes.

Ted: I'm like an incomplete list of Madeline Kahn's best films. I ain't got no clue.

Higgins: I am the director of Football Operations. And a bunch of us DFOs have a little jazz jam band we call "The Directors of Beboperations."

Ted: I'm sorry. Why is it so bad that a billionaire wants to put together a bunch of superheroes to fight crime?
Trent Crimm: Ooh, Ted, you're thinking of the Justice League.
Ted: God, dang it. Yeah, I am.

Jade: Do you want to come to Poland with me? You can help me and my family screw in light bulbs.
Nathan: (chuckles) That's very funny.
Jade: Why is it funny?
Nathan: (stammers) I don't know. Sorry. I...

Ted: Hey, Sam! Hey, look, I know this week ain't been easy on ya. (stammers) But don't forget, even the great Michael Jordan himself didn't make his high school varsity basketball team. Yeah?
Sam: Yes, Coach. But wasn't that because he was only a 5'10" sophomore and the team was in need of height, so they sent him to the junior varsity with the hope that he would develop physically? Which he did, growing 5 inches the very next summer.
Ted: I mean, if you know all the details, it does render the story a little less motivational, but my point still stands. Keep your head up. Be a goldfish. All right?

Coach Beard: Tonight, me and Jane have reserved an axe-throwing lane at Hatchet and Rye. You fellas care to join the festivities?
Ted: Hmm. That sounds equal parts fun and dangerous. What are y'all celebrating?
Coach Beard: Karma's speedy delivery of a shit sandwich to the Wonder Turd. Here, Jane made targets. (photo of Nathan on a target)
Ted: Hmm. Don't you feel it's bad karma to celebrate someone else's bad karma?
Coach Beard: No. You in?

Ted: How many axes you got now?
Coach Beard: Seventeen. But they're not all for throwing. Right.
Ted: But they're all here in the UK?
Coach Beard: Oh, yeah. Couldn't imagine being in a different country than my axes.

Rebecca: How did you get past security?
Rupert: Oh. My old mate, Renee.
Rebecca: The creepy old man that lives in the sewers?
Rupert: Oh, Rebecca, that's rude. He only works in the sewer.

Rupert: Sneaking in here today reminded me of, uh, the first match I ever saw at Nelson Road.
Rebecca: Ah, when they used to play by candlelight.

Rebecca: What happened with Nathan Shelley?
Rupert: Some people just aren't ready when they get their shot.

Roy's Sister: Phoe told me that Uncle's Day is her favorite holiday of the year.
Roy: F?ck off.
Roy's Sister: Yeah, seriously. It was, uh, Uncle's Day, Uncle Roy's birthday, and then Perchtenlaufen, the German holiday where people dress up as evil spirits and roam the streets in order to scare winter away.
Roy: She might be an old soul, but she's a proper f?cking dweeb, isn't she?

Jamie: It's your original England kit from the 2014 World Cup. Your name's on the back there. Uh, I got 'em to change the E to a U.
Roy: I love it.
Phoebe: Oh. Yeah. You owe me a pound, Jamie.
Jamie: But I didn't say nothing.
Phoebe: N-No, but you made me think it, and that's basically the same thing.
Jamie: Yeah, fair play.

Phoebe: I made it at school. The colors spell your name. Red, orange, yellow. Roy.

Rebecca: I don't want to be part of the Akufo League.
Higgins: Oh, why? Because he's an emotionally erratic billionaire with the temperament of one of those kids in Willy Wonka that gets murdered at the chocolate factory?
Rebecca: I don't think that's what happens, Leslie.
Higgins: I hate to break it to you, Rebecca, but those children are dead.

Higgins: If any of the other people start disappearing one by one due to a series of unfortunate accidents seemingly caused by their own hubris, you get the hell out of there. Do you hear me?

Keeley: What is it called when you have the opposite of the Midas touch?
Mae: The Midas shits.
Keeley: That's it. That's what I have. Everything I touch turns to shit.
Mae: Shit helps things grow, love.

Keeley: Mae? I wasn't expecting that. That's a really nice name. (chuckles) Short for anything?
Mae: Maybe.
Keeley: Is this your place Maybe?

Keeley: What would you do if someone took it all away from you?
Mae: Like the man once said, "Once you make it to the top of the mountain, what's left for you but lightning?"
Keeley: Wait, is the lightning a good thing or a bad thing?
Mae: Depends whether you're ready for it or not.

Mae: I'm gonna get you some food. 'Cause I can't have another sad, skinny girl pass out in my pub. F?cks me Yelp rating.

Bruce: You know, Lanny, when Mexico comes up here in our kitchen, the record books go right out the window.
Lanny: Well, for sure, Bruce.
Bruce: It's a tough game, but there's a begrudging mutual respect between the two teams, hey?
Lanny: Oh, they go together like nachos and poutine.
Bruce: Oh, now you've made me hungry.

Ms. Bowen: It's Coach Kent.
Roy: Hello, Ms. Bowen.
Ms. Bowen: You don't have to call me Ms. Bowen. You can use my first name.
Roy: Okay, uh...
Ms. Bowen: You don't know it, do you?
Roy: No.
Ms. Bowen: Leann.
Roy: Hello, Leann.
Ms. Bowen: I like your T-shirt. You off to protest the Vietnam War?
Roy: Phoebe made it for me.
Ms. Bowen: Ah. You look different.
Roy: (inhales deeply) Well, yeah. I don't normally dress like a f?cking clown.
Ms. Bowen: No, I don't mean the T-shirt. I mean you. You seem lighter than the last time I saw you. Less... (inhales) ...stuck.
Roy: Stuck?
Ms. Bowen: Yeah, stuck.
Roy: Hold on. Weren't you flirting with me last time I saw you?
Ms. Bowen: I teach kids. I don't mind cleaning up a mess. (chuckles) I just hope that mess didn't cause too much damage.
Roy: Fudge. It's good to see you. Yeah, you too. (leaves quickly)
Ms. Bowen: "I don't mind cleaning up a mess." (scoffs) Smooth move, fuckwitch.

Edwin Akufo: Please take your seats and let us enjoy some delicious Ghanaian bites as well as some Chicago-style hot dogs, as enjoyed by the likes of Scottie Pippen, Obama and Ferris Bueller.

Edwin Akufo: In the beginning, some people will hate it because some people hate change. But remember, at one time, we only rode horses and hated the idea of automobiles. Now we can't live without our cars, and the hot dogs we just ate are 85% horse meat. (club owners groan) Change is inevitable. Why should football not change? Why should it not evolve? Why should your profits not grow exponentially? (club owners murmur) Yes, the fans will protest. They will whine. They will make up mean-spirited but admittedly clever parody songs using our surnames and sing them outside the buildings that we own. But in time, they will come to embrace the superior product. Just as we have all embraced the automobile... the smartphone... the squatty potty. The Akufo League is the future of football. And the future is now.

Rupert: Rebecca, what do you think?
Rebecca: Is this a f?cking joke? Excuse me? What do you think you're doing? Just stop it! I mean, how much more money do any of you really need? Why would you ever consider taking something away from people that means so much to them? This isn't a game. Football isn't just a game. It's one of those amazing things in life that can make you feel shit one moment... and then, like it's Christmas morning the next. It has the ability to make heroes and villains out of ordinary men. People love this game. My father loved this game. You all used to love this game. I'm sure of it. I knew this little boy. Working-class. From Richmond. And he loved football so much, he used to sneak into the matches because his family just couldn't afford the tickets. And one afternoon, he finally got caught. And the security guard smacked him round the face, knocked him on the ground. (Rupert chuckles) But that little boy stood up, smiled, kicked the security guard in the bollocks and ran away. Never to return. Until 25 years later, when he walked in and bought the entire club. And on his first day as owner, he went and found that same security guard and gave him a pay rise without any explanation. Just because we own these teams doesn't mean they belong to us. And I don't want to be part of something that could possibly destroy this beautiful game. Because I would hate for all those little kids and grown-ups out there to ever lose access to that beautiful, passionate part of themselves.
Edwin Akufo: What a lovely speech. Now, who wants to make a lot of money?
(Cut to Akufo storming out of the room after seemingly throwing a tantrum)

Keeley: I still can't read your handwriting.
Roy: (reading the letter) Dear Keeley, I want you to know something. You never did anything wrong. It was all me. I was stuck. Stuck in my own shit. And I didn't wanna cause you any harm with it, so I pulled away. But you are... yu are and always will be Keeley f?cking Jones. And if I ever did anything... anything at all... that made you feel like that wasn't true... I'm so sorry. I love you. Sincerely yours, Roy Kent. XOXO.
Keeley: You are the only Roy I know.
Roy: Well, I didn't want to assume.

Rebecca: I just convinced a roomful of Rupert's dickhead friends to pull out of the Akufo League.
Keeley: Oh, no!
Rebecca: Oh, no, it's very good. Hug me.

Ted: Oh, that's cool! Did you draw that?
Rebecca: No, Ted, that's a David Hockney.
Ted: Oh, well, he's a very talented little boy.

Rebecca: I want to share something with you that I've realized recently.
Ted: How weird it is that Margherita pizza doesn't have alcohol in it? I'm with you, sister.
Rebecca: No, Ted. I've realized I no longer care if I beat Rupert. Oh, yeah? Yeah. I mean, I still want to win. But for all of us. For Richmond.
Ted: I wanna win for us too.
Rebecca: (After she spit tea on his face) It just feels like it's ceremonial at this point.
Ted: As long as none of that tree piss gets in my mouth, I'm actually okay with it.

Music

"Red Right Handed (2011 Remastered Version)" by Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds (Roy Kent in the tie-dyed shirt)

"Light" by Michael Kiwanuka (Nathan reminisces over photo album)

"Spiegel im spiegel" by Angele Dubeau, La Pieta (Nathan plays the violin)

"Golden Star" by Middle Kids (Roy and Keely make up; Nathan plays cards with his parents)

"Done Did Me No Good" by Bahamas (The players return to the locker room)

"Union Jack" by Big Audio Dynamite (Closing Credits)

Notes and Trivia

Ted Lasso's line, "I Contain Multitudes," could be a reference to the Bob Dylan song "I Contain Multitudes," which is about the concept of the multiplicity of the self. It may also be a reference to the Walt Whitman's 1855 poem "Song of Myself", from his collection "Leaves of Grass," where he states, "Do I contradict myself? Very well then I contradict myself, (I am large, I contain multitudes.)"

When Jade invites Nathan to join her on a trip to Poland she says, "You can help me and my family screw in light bulbs." She is referring to a classic (but dated) lightbulb joke that goes, "How many Polish people does it take to screw in a light bulb?" (Answer: Three. One to hold the light bulb and two to turn the ladder.)

The book Coach Beard was reading when Roy walked in wearing his tie-dyed t-shirt was Finding the Mother Tree: Discovering the Wisdom of the Forest by Suzanne Simard.

Providing the voices of the Canadian announcers in the International match were fellow Canadians Ryan Stiles as Bruce and Colin Mochrie as Lanny.

Before going to the meeting of team owners, Leslie warned Rebecca of a possible "Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory" type scenario. When Akufo arrived at the meeting, he was wearing a purple suit similar to that worn by Willy Wonka.

In the scene where Nathan plays the violin, Nick Mohammed is actually playing the violin he grew up with, having learned to play as a child and continuing to play with the orchestra at St Aidan's College at Durham University. He is accompanied by his wife Rebecca on the piano.

The book Coach Beard later in the erpisode was reading was The Club: How the Premier League Became the Richest, Most Disruptive Business in Sport by Joshua Robinson & Jonathan Clegg.

Goofs

None

Locations

Details about common filming locations such as The Crown and Anchor Pub, The Dog Pound Stadium and The Richmond Greyhounds practise field can be found here.

None

Cast

StarringJason SudeikisTed Lasso
StarringHannah WaddinghamRebecca Welton
StarringJeremy SwiftLeslie Higgins
StarringPhil DunsterJamie Tartt
StarringBrett GoldsteinRoy Kent
StarringBrendan HuntCoach Beard
StarringNick MohammedNathan Shelley
StarringAnthony HeadRupert Mannion
StarringToheeb JimohSam Obisanya
StarringCristo FernandezDani Rojas
StarringKola BokinniIsaac McAdoo
StarringBilly HarrisColin Hughes
StarringJames LanceTrent Crimm
Starring (With)Juno TempleKeeley Jones
Guest StarringSam RichardsonEdwin Akufo
Guest StarringAnnette BadlandMae
Guest StarringKaty WixBarbara
Guest StarringEdyta BudnikJade
Guest StarringRuth BradleyMs. Bowen
Co-StarringMoe Jeudy-LamourThierry Zoreaux
Co-StarringStephen ManasRichard Montlaur
Co-StarringMoe HashimMoe Bumbercatch
Co-StarringDavid ElsendoornJan Maas
Co-StarringCharlie HiscockWill Kitman
Co-StarringPeter LandiLloyd
Co-StarringNeelam BakshiMaria
Co-StarringPrecious MustaphaSimi
Co-StarringJonathan NyatiCharles Siziba
Co-StarringBill FellowsGeorge Cartrick
Co-StarringJeff StellingHimself
Co-StarringClinton MorrisonHimself
Co-StarringJames A. StephensLord Robert Wadsworth
Co-StarringIvan MarevichNicolay Alexayav
Co-StarringMark KempnerKenneth the Bus Driver
Co-StarringDarren StrangeDan
Co-StarringKaty PoulterMs. Bread
Co-StarringMalcolm RennieRenee
Co-StarringSusanna RedheadYoung Rebecca
Co-StarringSofia BarclayDr. O'Sullivan
Co-StarringElodie BlomfieldPhoebe
Co-StarringMartin TylerMartin Tyler
Co-StarringRyan StilesBruce
Co-StarringColin MochrieLanny