Dani - Ted Lasso

Dani Quotes - Ted Lasso

Dani quotes from the hit show "Ted Lasso"


S02E10 - No Weddings and a Funeral (Dani Quotes)

Dani: I hate dress shoes so much, Jamie.
Jamie: I know, muchacho. 'Cause remember, they ain't made for people like us. They're made for sheep. They're made for Muggles. They're made for twats.
Dani: When I get home, I will set them on fire, and their memory will burn in hell.
Jamie: Jesus, Dani.
Dani: Jesus has no place in the conversation of these damn shoes.

Dani: (wearing Rebecca's slippers) Rebecca, muchisimas gracias. I can feel my toes again. I am so happy we wear the same size.
Rebecca: Good. Me too. You keep those.
Dani: Your generosity knows no boundaries.

S02E05 - Rainbow (Dani Quotes)

Keeley: Dani! Enjoy your free coffee.
Dani: Oh, I don't drink coffee. My mother says I was born caffeinated.

S02E04 - Carol of the Bells (Dani Quotes)

Dani: My mother was very happy I wouldn't be alone on Christmas and insisted I bring a traditional Mexican ponche! If you want to be a little bit cheeky, you can put some tequila in it.
Julie: Dani, it already smells like it has tequila in it.
Dani: Yes, this one is pre-cheeked.

Dani: We're not gonna make it. Tell my incredibly beautiful wife I love her.
Zoreaux: I'm not gonna do that, 'cause you'll tell her yourself. Then you're gonna hook me up with her identical, beautiful twin sister.

S02E01 - Goodbye Earl (Dani Quotes)

Ted: Hey, Dani. What ya doing?
Dani: (In the shower) Washing the death off of me.
Ted: Well, I-- I recommend you use a little soap. Helps get the eternal rest out of those tough-to-reach places, you know.

Ted: Dani, this is Dr. Sharon Fieldstone.
Sharon: Nice to meet you, Dani. How you feeling?
Dani: Like a murderer.

Dani: Dr. Sharon helped me remember that even though football is life, football is also death. And that football is football too. But mostly that football is life!
Ted: Yeah.

S01E08 - The Diamond Dogs (Dani Quotes)

Keeley: Right. The product you'd most like to get into business with is joy?
Dani: Si. Mucho, mucho joy.
Keeley: I don't know if I can get you paid for that though, Dani.
Dani: I like to give away joy for free.

S01E06 - Two Aces (Dani Quotes)

Ted: You are a spirited fellow Dani. Just go on out there, and get the striker spot for us, okay?
Dani: Yes! Just like back in Guadalajara, you say it, I do it, Coach. Football is life!
Ted: I like him.