Dani - Ted Lasso

Dani Quotes - Ted Lasso

Dani quotes from the hit show "Ted Lasso"

S03E12 - So Long, Farewell (Dani Quotes)

Will: We've just been sent a care package from Zava.
Dani: No. Thank you, but no. I will not let him hurt me again.
Will: Ooh, it's T-shirts.
Dani: Can I have two, please?

S03E09 - La Locker Room Aux Folles (Dani Quotes)

Dani: Ay, Chihuahua. I can't remember which pair is clean and which one is dirty.
Sam: You bundle your dirty socks?
Dani: Just because they're dirty doesn't mean they don't deserve to have a friend.

S03E06 - Sunflowers (Dani Quotes)

Dani: I really want the tulip experience that everyone talks about.

Isaac: Where we at? We have nine votes for s?x show. Nine votes for private party. And one vote for tulip. That leaves us with two. S?x show versus private party.
Dani: And I think someone picked tulip, yes? But who?
Isaac: Dani, you wrote it in Spanish.
Dani: Someone wrote it in Spanish, yes.

S02E10 - No Weddings and a Funeral (Dani Quotes)

Dani: I hate dress shoes so much, Jamie.
Jamie: I know, muchacho. 'Cause remember, they ain't made for people like us. They're made for sheep. They're made for Muggles. They're made for twats.
Dani: When I get home, I will set them on fire, and their memory will burn in hell.
Jamie: Jesus, Dani.
Dani: Jesus has no place in the conversation of these damn shoes.

Dani: (wearing Rebecca's slippers) Rebecca, muchisimas gracias. I can feel my toes again. I am so happy we wear the same size.
Rebecca: Good. Me too. You keep those.
Dani: Your generosity knows no boundaries.

S02E05 - Rainbow (Dani Quotes)

Keeley: Dani! Enjoy your free coffee.
Dani: Oh, I don't drink coffee. My mother says I was born caffeinated.

S02E04 - Carol of the Bells (Dani Quotes)

Dani: My mother was very happy I wouldn't be alone on Christmas and insisted I bring a traditional Mexican ponche! If you want to be a little bit cheeky, you can put some tequila in it.
Julie: Dani, it already smells like it has tequila in it.
Dani: Yes, this one is pre-cheeked.

Dani: We're not gonna make it. Tell my incredibly beautiful wife I love her.
Zoreaux: I'm not gonna do that, 'cause you'll tell her yourself. Then you're gonna hook me up with her identical, beautiful twin sister.

S02E01 - Goodbye Earl (Dani Quotes)

Ted: Hey, Dani. What ya doing?
Dani: (In the shower) Washing the death off of me.
Ted: Well, I-- I recommend you use a little soap. Helps get the eternal rest out of those tough-to-reach places, you know.

Ted: Dani, this is Dr. Sharon Fieldstone.
Sharon: Nice to meet you, Dani. How you feeling?
Dani: Like a murderer.

Dani: Dr. Sharon helped me remember that even though football is life, football is also death. And that football is football too. But mostly that football is life!
Ted: Yeah.

S01E08 - The Diamond Dogs (Dani Quotes)

Keeley: Right. The product you'd most like to get into business with is joy?
Dani: Si. Mucho, mucho joy.
Keeley: I don't know if I can get you paid for that though, Dani.
Dani: I like to give away joy for free.

S01E06 - Two Aces (Dani Quotes)

Ted: You are a spirited fellow Dani. Just go on out there, and get the striker spot for us, okay?
Dani: Yes! Just like back in Guadalajara, you say it, I do it, Coach. Football is life!
Ted: I like him.