Ted Lasso Quote

Keeley: Shandy. Can I speak with you, please?
Shandy: Can you give me 30 minutes?
Keeley: No, now.
Barbara: Please can I watch?
Keeley: Barbara.
Shandy: Hi. I can give you five minutes, then I have to go downstairs and meet with a potential assistant. She's scared of elevators. It's cute, right?
Keeley: Can you come have a seat, please? (sighing) Yeah. Shandy...
Shandy: Am I getting a raise?
Keeley: You are so brilliant. But...
Shandy: My bold determination? What the f?ck? (storms out) All right! Listen up, sheep. I was just let go because some people can't handle working with an innovator. So, I'm starting my own PR firm to take this place down. Who's coming with me? I'll pay you double what you're making here. Who's coming with me? (nobody speaks) All right. Three months holiday every year, company car, massage table in the office with a licensed masseuse. Who's coming with me?
Dan: (stammers) I'll go with you.
Shandy: Not you, Dan. Right. Barbara. I know you're with me.
Barbara: I couldn't be less with you.
Shandy: That's because you're a coward, and I f?cking hate you. I hate all of you! (sobs and hugs Keeley) Oh, Keeley, please let me stay. (sobbing) I just love it here so much. We're a family. I love you.
Keeley: You're gonna be fine, Shandy. I pro...
Shandy: No, I'm not! Oh, you bunch of fascist f?cks! I f?cking... You f?cking ten-percenters. Yeah, that's what you are. You know what? f?ck you all. (takes laptop)
Barbara: That's ours.
Shandy: Well, f?ck off then. Dan, let's go.
Dan: Actually, I'm staying.
Shandy: Suck my d1ck.

Quote from S03E05 - Signs

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