S03E03 - 4-5-1
No: 25 |
Season: 3
Episode: 3 |
Air Date: 29-Mar-23 |
Runtime: 51 mins
Summary
Richmond adjusts to an exciting change, but Jamie has reservations. Ted learns there's something new going on back in Kansas as well.
Director and Writers
Director: Destiny Ekaragha
Writers: Bill Wrubel
Quotes
Ted: Jamie's a lot like my mom's Precious Moments figurines collection.
Ted Crimm: I have no idea what that means.
Roy: He's a fragile little bitch.
Ted: My tummy's got more knots in it than Wayne's World 1 and 2 smooshed together.
Ted: Don't sell yourself short. If anything, sell yourself tall and get it altered later.
Ted: Coaching a superstar can't be all, "How do you solve a problem like Maria?" Although, if you ask me, the n*zis were the real problem in that story. Am I right, Coach?
Coach Beard: Yeah. Come on, Mother Superior, let's have a little perspective.
Roy: I used to fancy Julie Andrews. Well, I still do, to be fair. The voice, the eyes, the way you know she'd tell you off if you'd been bad.
Dany: When I was a boy, I played in Zava boots, I slept in Zava boots, I made love for the first time to Zava boots.
Zoreaux: Think you mean "in Zava boots."
Dany: No.
Sam: Some men have a charisma that transcends orientation. Uh, Paul Newman, Idris Elba, Norm Macdonald.
Rebecca: Leslie! We do have a signed contract, don't we?
Higgins: Of course. We have an e-signature. That's legally binding... I think... I'll make a call.
Higgins: So, I just talked to legal about Zava's contract. Uh, an e-signature is legally binding. Tiny wrinkle, instead of signing his name, he signed "You're welcome."
Ted: I waited over three hours for Public Enemy to take the stage of this joint called The Cubby Bear. When a man with a giant clock around his neck is that late, it ain't about time.
Keeley: (About Daniel Day-Lewis) Did you know, that when he made Lincoln he actually texted Sally Field as Abraham Lincoln?
Rebecca: Well, that's ridiculous. Abraham Lincoln couldn't text.
Ted: Exactly. Every time he looked down at his phone, his hat would fall off.
Zava: Oh, time is a construct, like gender and many of the alphabets.
Zava: (to Ted) My leader, I am an empty vessel filled with gold. I am your rock. Mold me.
Ted: (whistles) Well, hey, if you score goals like you talk, we gonna be just fine, buddy.
Rebecca: Do you even know where you're going?
Zava: I do not!
Tish: Water? Tea? Or cocktail, perhaps?
Rebecca: Sure, I'll have a White Russian, thanks.
Tish: Oh. Yeah, I'm afraid I'm fresh out of Kahlua...
Rebecca: Ah.
Tish: ...after hosting a Big Lebowski themed birthday party for a colleague.
Tish: Shite in nin... Sh... Oh... yeah, shite in nining armor.
Rebecca: A shite in nining armor"
Trish: Does that mean something to you?
Rebecca: Yes, it does mean something to me. It means you're even more batshit crazy than I...
Arlo: Good afternoon. There is an electricity today at Nelson Road, and the cause of all this excitement goes by one name, Zava.
Chris: Like Pele, if every letter was different.
Higgins: There are more VIPs here than London Fashion Week. I assume. I don't know.
Ted: Pop quiz, hotshots. What do you get when you combine one of Hugh Jackman's finest film roles with a fancy-pants New York City getaway?
Sam: Jean Valjean Catskills?
Ted: Ooh. No. That's a great answer, Sam. How do you know about the Catskills?
Sam: Uh, Marvelous Mrs. Maisel.
Ted: Today's opponents, Wolverhampton. Full name, Wolverhampton Wanderers. Also known as the Wanderers.
Roy: No.
Coach Beard: Also known as Wolves.
Ted: Okay. So, our opponents today are the Wolverhampton Wandering Wolves.
Roy: No.
Coach Beard: Just Wolverhampton or Wolves.
Ted: Got it. So when the team known as Wolverhampton, or Wolves, is wandering around the pitch today trying to score some soccer goals, here's the game plan.
Coach Beard: All free kicks will be taken by...
Roy: Zava.
Coach Beard: All penalties...
Roy: Zava.
Coach Beard: All corners...
Roy: Anyone to Zava.
Ted: I can't find my phone. I know where it is. I left it sitting on my bathroom sink. Dang it.
Coach Beard: That's what you get for playing Tetris on the toilet.
Ted: Yeah, that and numb legs.
Rebecca: It's not for me. If I wanted to be scammed out of all my money, I'd go the old-fashioned route and become obsessively religious.
Jane: Weinstein's c0ck! Are you cheating on me?
Coach Beard: Yeah, I am... with you.
(They begin kissing madly)
Ted: Man, y'all's baggage just matches right up, don't it?
Roy: I mean, you still could be if you weren't such a pre-Madonna.
Jamie: Did you just call me a pre-Madonna?
Roy: Yeah.
Jamie: It's prima donna. Who the f*ck says "pre-Madonna"? What the f*ck does that even mean?
Roy: It means before Madonna, female vocalists didn't have to work that hard.
Jamie: Are you mad? You never heard of Tina Turner? F*cking Stevie Nicks?
Shandy: I'm Shandy. I do PR for the club. It's so great you've come down here, but don't be a dick. Show some love on your socials, yeah?
Zava: I like your confident energy. It's off-putting.
Sam: Thank you so much for coming. Honestly, it means so much to me.
Zava: Sam, tell me, where does your restaurant source its avocados from?
Sam: Ah, uh, West African cuisine doesn't typically feature a lot of avocados.
Zava: Hmm. Not yet.
Music
"Out of My Head" by Fastball (Opening music)
"Prisencolinensiniinciusol" by Adriano Celentano (Plays during montage)
"Superstar" by Murray Head, Choir (Plays during game winning montage)
"No Wahala" by 1da banton (Plays at Sam's restaurant)
"Ozo" by Ife, Umu Obiligbo (Plays at Sam's restaurant)
"Essence (Feat. Tems)" by Wizkid (Plays at Sam's restaurant)
"Everybody Knows" by Leonard Cohen (End credit music)
Notes and Trivia
None
Goofs
None
Locations
Details about common filming locations such as The Crown and Anchor Pub, The Dog Pound Stadium and The Richmond Greyhounds practise field
can be found here.
The exterior and interior scenes of Sam's restaurant were filmed at 20 Thurloe St, South Kensington, London. This is the same location as shown in S02E12.
(Google Street View)
Cast
| Starring | Jason Sudeikis | Ted Lasso |
| Starring | Hannah Waddingham | Rebecca Welton |
| Starring | Jeremy Swift | Leslie Higgins |
| Starring | Phil Dunster | Jamie Tartt |
| Starring | Brett Goldstein | Roy Kent |
| Starring | Brendan Hunt | Coach Beard |
| Starring | Nick Mohammed | Nathan Shelley |
| Starring | Anthony Head | Rupert Mannion |
| Starring | Toheeb Jimoh | Sam Obisanya |
| Starring | Cristo Fernandez | Dani Rojas |
| Starring | Kola Bokinni | Isaac McAdoo |
| Starring | Billy Harris | Colin Hughes |
| Starring | James Lance | Trent Crimm |
| Starring (With) | Juno Temple | Keeley Jones |
| Guest Starring | Sarah Niles | Dr. Sharon Fieldstone |
| Guest Starring | Andrea Anders | Michelle Lasso |
| Guest Starring | Annette Badland | Mae |
| Guest Starring | Adam Colborne | Baz |
| Guest Starring | Bronson Webb | Jeremy |
| Guest Starring | Kevin 'KG' Garry | Paul |
| Guest Starring | Maximilian Osinski | Zava |
| Guest Starring | Ellie Taylor | Flo 'Sassy' Collins |
| Guest Starring | Ambreen Razia | Shandy Fine |
| Guest Starring | Mike O'Gorman | Jacob Brianson |
| Co-Starring | Moe Jeudy-Lamour | Thierry Zoreaux |
| Co-Starring | Stephen Manas | Richard Montlaur |
| Co-Starring | Moe Hashim | Moe Bumbercatch |
| Co-Starring | David Elsendoorn | Jan Maas |
| Co-Starring | Charlie Hiscock | Will Kitman |
| Co-Starring | Gus Turner | Henry |
| Co-Starring | Arlo White | Himself |
| Co-Starring | Chris Powell | Himself |
| Co-Starring | Sam Liu | Michael |
| Co-Starring | Keeley Hazell | Bex |
| Co-Starring | Bill Fellows | George Cartrick |
| Co-Starring | Emma Davies | Tish |
| Co-Starring | Precious Mustapha | Simi |
| Co-Starring | Phoebe Walsh | Jane |
| Co-Starring | Jeff Stelling | Jeff Stelling |
| Co-Starring | Paul Merson | Paul Merson |
| Co-Starring | Marcus Onilude | Marcus |
| Co-Starring | Lloyd Griffith | Lloyd |
| Co-Starring | Guy Porritt | Gary |
| Co-Starring | Anna Martine Freeman | Sarah |
