S03E11 - Mom City

No: 33 | Season: 3 Episode: 11 | Air Date: 24-May-23 | Runtime: 69 mins

Go Richmond. (Ted Lasso/Warner Media)

Hello. We're not open for another half hour. Would you care to wait not here? (Ted Lasso/Warner Media)

No such man exists. (Ted Lasso/Warner Media)

Nate the Great. (Ted Lasso/Warner Media)

Are you sure you do not want a kebab, Mama Lasso? (Ted Lasso/Warner Media)

Oi! Tartt. Boot room. Now! (Ted Lasso/Warner Media)

Will? You missed a good one. (Ted Lasso/Warner Media)

Oh, my God, Coach. Our new striker looks just like your mom. (Ted Lasso/Warner Media)

Y'all got a town here called "Tooting"? (Ted Lasso/Warner Media)

Thank you. This cost like two pounds from a car boot sale, so... (Ted Lasso/Warner Media)

There's something so sad about a suitcase. Do you know what I mean? It's like... It's like a drawer without a home. (Ted Lasso/Warner Media)

I mean, Sleepless in Seattle is still a far superior film. (Ted Lasso/Warner Media)

This guy on Twitter, he kept saying that it was blonde, but I'm like, "It's f?cking walnut mist, mate." (Ted Lasso/Warner Media)

I've literally never thought about work the second after leaving work... or even while there, really. (Ted Lasso/Warner Media)

You and me... sitting on Jamie Tartt's childhood bed... (Ted Lasso/Warner Media)

You're not lost, my s3xy little baby. (Ted Lasso/Warner Media)

...the latest in workout technology like yoga mats! (Ted Lasso/Warner Media)

I'll celebrate when the final whistle has blown. I don't wanna move and jinx it. (Ted Lasso/Warner Media)

A swashbuckling save by the masked Canadian. (Ted Lasso/Warner Media)

Jamie Tartt, you f?cking king! (Ted Lasso/Warner Media)

Listen to this response from the City supporters, an ovation for a visiting player who was also one of their own. You don't hear this every day. (Ted Lasso/Warner Media)

Don't worry about wins or losses. Just help these guys be the best version of themselves on and off the pitch. This, at the end, is the most important thing. (Ted Lasso/Warner Media)

What the f?ck happened, man? Did I look sexy? (Ted Lasso/Warner Media)

You here to kill me? (Ted Lasso/Warner Media)

Our story is very similar to Les Mis, yes. (Ted Lasso/Warner Media)

Can we come in? (Ted Lasso/Warner Media)

Summary

An unexpected guest has Ted on edge. When Richmond travel to Manchester for a big match, Roy and Keeley become concerned about Jamie.

Director and Writers

Director: Declan Lowny
Writers: Story by - Brendan Hunt & Jason Sudeikis; Teleplay by - Joe Kelly

Quotes

Mr. Mann: Hey, wank?r. Don't get all cocky and f?ck up that streak you're on.
Ted: What streak?

Nathan: Don't think the cleaners actually cleaned the floor.
Jade: There are no cleaners.
Nathan: So, why do we put the chairs on the tables?
Jade: The patriarchy.

Jade: Hello. We're not open for another half hour. Would you care to wait not here?

Colin: We're actually here to speak with Nathan Shelley. He works here, yeah?
Jade: No such man exists.

Isaac: Can I have 75 kebabs to go?
Nathan: Uh, yeah. Oh, yeah. No, of course. Um, chicken, pork or lamb? (pauses) Or 25 of each?
Isaac: (snaps fingers) Nate the Great.

Dottie: What are all these crazy symbols on your oven dial?
Ted: Yeah, um, well, the one with the line under the nuclear power symbol, that's for making cookies and chicken. The, uh, three squiggly lines let you burn a frozen pizza. And the key symbol there, that makes the whole thing beep until Beard comes over and fixes it for me.

Rebecca: I can't believe I'm finally getting to meet the woman who created one of the nicest humans I've ever met.
Dottie: Oh, no, don't look at me. This one popped out and immediately asked the doctor if he needed anything.
Ted: That doesn't make any sense. Babies can't talk and nor do they understand empathy.

Rebecca: If you'd like, I'd love to show you around.
Dottie: Oh, I've heard great things about the Sherlock Holmes Museum.
Rebecca: I mean around the facility.

Rebecca: I've got to go and see a man about a horse.
Ted: Oh. I didn't know girls said that when they gotta pee.
Rebecca: No, Ted, I'm buying a horse.

Ted: Y'all got a town here called "Tooting"?
Higgins: Tooting, yes.
Ted: Man, this place is great, right?

Ted: What about you, Coach? You all right if Nate comes...
Coach Beard: If you bring that Judas back, I will burn this place to the f?cking ground.

Trent: Ted? Is it true that you got onstage and danced with Bruce Springsteen?
Ted: No, that was Courteney Cox. What I did do was sing "Glory Days" with a Bruce Springsteen cover band at my friend Scott Cinnamon's bar mitzvah.

Dottie: This place is very charming. Reminds of this Irish bar I went to in Topeka.
Ted: Well, you probably don't wanna share that with Mae.
Dottie: The Irish part or the Topeka part?
Ted: Both, really.

Coach Beard: (muttering) Trying to follow the yellow brick road, where the dogs of society keep on howling.

Baz: Hey, Ted. Your mum's the bollocks.
Gary: We just became friends on Facebook.
Paul: I didn't know you were almost the drummer in Coldplay.

Jamie: There's something so sad about a suitcase. Do you know what I mean? It's like... It's like a drawer without a home.

Keeley: Hey, Jamie. Look at me. You've got a lot going on right now.
Jamie: Mm-hmm.
Keeley: There's a lot going on, yeah. This is the first time you've played back home since you left.
Jamie: (exhales heavily) Ooh.
Keeley: The crowd's gonna hate you. And the person who's gonna be booing the loudest in the crowd is your dad.
Jamie: I didn't think of that.
Keeley: Yeah. And I know a lot of people are shit-talking your hair online.
Jamie: They're what?
Keeley: (stammers) No! ...Think about it. If you guys win tomorrow, then you will be on the precipice of achieving everything that you've ever dreamed of.
Jamie: Oh, my God. (passes out)
(Later)
Roy: How'd it go with Jamie?
Keeley: Yeah, I f?ck?d it.

Jamie: (laying in his mother's arms as she stroked his hair) It was just poopy. You know, it really upset me. This guy on Twitter, he kept saying that it was blonde, but I'm like, "It's f?cking walnut mist, mate."

Jamie's Mum: You're not lost, my sexy little baby. You're just not sure which direction you're going in... yet.

Keeley: Richmond should have a classic old song for our fans to sing. '
Higgins: Oh, we did. Uh, when Freddie Mercury briefly owned the team in 1980, he tried to make "Fat Bottomed Girls" the team anthem. Didn't work out.
Keeley: Did a bunch of people get offended?
Higgins: Just the flat-bottomed girls really.

Gary: Hey, thanks for saving us a seat. How long have you been waiting?
Baz: Mae let me sleep here last night.

Mae: How many beers do you want?
Paul: Three, Mae.
Mae: How many beers do you want if you can't order again before halftime?
All: Twelve.

Coach Beard: Hey, Coach, I don't want Jamie to play hurt. (taps his watch) But we gotta make a decision here.
Roy: Personally, I'm fine with him playing hurt. I played hurt all the time.
Coach Beard: You can't walk up stairs.

Ted: What you looking for up there, Jamie?
Jamie: Looking for my dad. I can't find him. It's freaking me the f?ck out.
Ted: Yeah, I get that. It's like when you don't know where Freddy Krueger is. 'Cause you know it's the second he's gonna pop up and stick that knife-hand of his in your face.
Jamie: Yeah, Freddy Krueger's f?cking terrifying.
Ted: Yeah, well, he had a rough childhood. And as we all know, hurt people hurt people. Sometimes they just do it with their knife-hands. When's the last time you saw your dad?
Jamie: Wembley.
Ted: Hmm. Y'all talk since then?
Jamie: Nope.
Ted: Hmm. Okay. If you could talk to him now, what would you say?
Jamie: I'd say, "f?ck you."
Ted: Mmm, yeah. Makes sense. Anything else?
Jamie: Yeah. Yeah, I'd say, "Thank you."
Ted: You know, Jamie, if hating your Pops ain't motivating you like it used to, it might be time to try something different. Just forgive him.
Jamie: Oh, f?ck no. I ain't giving him that.
Ted: Mm-mmm, no. You ain't giving him anything. When you choose to do that, you're giving that to yourself.

Fans singing: Jamie Tartt... do, do, do, do, do, do... Jamie Tartt... Do, do, do, do, do, do.

Ted: You're a tough guy to beat, man.
Pep Guardiola: Nah, don't worry about wins or losses. Just help these guys be the best version of themselves on and off the pitch. This, at the end, is the most important thing.
Ted: I couldn't agree more, Coach.

Coach Beard: All right, buddy. I will see you at karaoke. I will of course sign us up for "Islands in the Stream." But I'm calling dibs on Dolly.

Jamie: What the f?ck happened, man? (chuckles) (Keeley laughs) Did I look sexy?
Roy: Shame you weren't injured in your f?cking head, innit?

Coach Beard: Ted and I met playing college football. He was the backup punter. I was the backup kicker. We never got in a game, but we spent a lot of time together, jogging and doing box jumps. After school, we went our separate ways. And he was dating Michelle, got into coaching. And I got into prison. When I got paroled... I had no money, family didn't want me. I had nowhere to go. So I looked up Ted. He took me in, fed me. Let me crash on his couch. And in return, I stole his car. Now, I didn't get far. And I would've gone straight back to prison if Ted didn't come down there and convince those cops that he gave me the car.
Nathan: Just like in Les Mis.
Coach Beard: Our story is very similar to Les Mis, yes.
Nathan: You went to prison?
Coach Beard: Yes. For stealing a loaf of meth. And then I stole from my friend. Who forgave me. (sighs) And gave me a job. And a life. So to honor that, I forgive you. I offer you a job. And the life part's up to you.

Rebecca: This is that time of year when I come down here and reveal something to you.
Ted: Oh, snap. That's right. Okay. Well, here we go. Uh, you know what? Maybe I should guess this year. No, no, no, that's silly. Yeah. No, you just go ahead and tell me. Go on, let 'er rip.
Rebecca: I've got nothing. Oh, I really tried as well. I mean, even on the walk over here, I was thinking something would pop into my head, but nope. Absolutely nothing. Sorry, Ted. No truth bomb this year.
Ted: Hmm. Well, that's okay. (chuckles) I got one.

Music

"Long Road" by The Tremeloes (Opening scene)

"Manchester England (Reprise)" by James Rado, Hair Ensemble (Arrival in Manchester)

"The Puppy Song" by Harry Nilsson (Watching opening scene of "You've Got Mail.")

"Over the Rainbow" by Harry Nilsson (Watching the end of "You've Got Mail.")

"Why Can't I Touch It?" by Buzzcocks (Keeley and Roy follow Jamie)

"Blue Moon" by Supra (Man City fight song)

"Fat Bottomed Girls" by Queen (Richmond's bus returns)

"Fought & Lost (feat. Brian May)" by Sam Ryder (Ted reads the note from his Mom)

"Home" by Brandi Carlie (End Credits)

Notes and Trivia

At the beginning of the episode, Ted greets Mrs. Barnaby who is returning home from a date. The last time we saw Mrs. Barnaby was in S01E04 "For The Children" when she was bidding at a charity bachelor auction.

Isaac and Colin, the two players who once bullied Nate, are the ones to invite him back to Richmond; together with Will, the kitman who Nate bullied in turn.

The poem Mae recites to Ted in the pub is "This be the Verse" by Philip Larkin.

This be the Verse

They f$ck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were f$cked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another's throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don't have any kids yourself.

Philip Larkin, "This Be the Verse" from Collected Poems.

The movie the team watched was 1998's "You've Got Mail", starring Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan.

At 43, Leanne Best (Jamie's Mum) is only 12 years older than 31 year old Phil Dunster who played her son Jamie Tarte.

Manchester City's real coach, Pep Guardiola, is shown to share the Ted Lasso's philosophy on making his players into the best versions of themselves.

There were multiple references to the "Wizard of Oz" in this episode, such as the Oz pinball machine in the pub, the end scene from "You've Got Mail" with the song "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" playing, Ted's mother being named Dotty (Dorothy), and the closing credits song being "Home" from the Wiz musical.

The song featured near the end of the episode, "Fought & Lost (feat. Brian May)" by Sam Ryder was released the night before the episode aired.

Goofs

None

Locations

Details about common filming locations such as The Crown and Anchor Pub, The Dog Pound Stadium and The Richmond Greyhounds practise field can be found here.